Dear Webby: Restoring Firewall 




   Zoom the font size for best readability!

Good Morning,  !
Wednesday,  February 27, 2008

Man is a magnet, and every line and dot and detail of his experiences come by his own attraction." — Elizabeth Towne
As a school principal in rural NC, I have heard nearly every excuse for a student’s being late for school, but Arnold’s topped them all. He came into my office looking somewhat tired and bedraggled, but anxious to explain his nearly one hour tardiness. “Our chickens have been disappearing.” He said. “And Pa made up his mind to put a stop to it. But nothing happened for several nights. Then last night about 3 o’clock, Pa got me and Ol’ Blue and his shot gun, all cocked and loaded, to go out with him to the chicken house to see what was going on.” He went on. “Well, Pa sleeps in his birthday suit, and as he bent over to go into the chicken house Ol’ Blue cold-nosed Pa where he didn’t expect it. Both barrels went off. Ever since then we’ve been up a-cleanin’ and a-pickin’ more than 50 chickens. I missed the bus and had to walk 3 miles to school. As I handed him his “Excused” slip, he muttered, “I sure hope we don’t have no chicken for lunch this week.” Thanks to Cindy for this report: Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the Anthony Ricca, 37 from Boca Raton, Florida Stolen lego Peddlar February 26, 2008 - Boca Raton, Florida - UPI The Palm Beach County, Fla., Sheriff's Office alleges Anthony Ricca, 37, was videotaped shoplifting Lego Star Wars toys from a Target store Wednesday. Target Loss Prevention Manager told deputies a security camera recorded Ricca purchasing some of the toys, taking them out to his car and then returning to the store and taking more of the toys to his car without paying for them. An analysis of security recordings at the store and other locations in the county turned up footage of Ricca shoplifting during at least 12 separate incidents. Ricca has netted at least $42,000 from selling Lego products on eBay, authorities said. He has been charged with grand theft over $10,000, organizing a scheme to defraud, and dealing in stolen property totaling over $5,000 by use of the Internet.
Thanks to Verna for sending this picture: Unsaddling after checking the bulls.
Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Eddie Re: restore Firewall Hey Mr Webby; I have a question for you in regards to CA! When you disabled the firewall, does it enable when you shut down and restart automatically? Eddie Dear Eddie I have never used CA!, but I would imagine that they are similar to other firewalls, and that they too give you an option to automatically turn it back on in a few minutes, and in how many minutes. Have FUN! DearWebby

A couple was going out for the evening to celebrate wife's birthday. They'd gotten ready - all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their home, the cat shoots back into the house. Not wanting their often rowdy cat to have free run of the house while they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab, and said, "Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a mop to get her to come out! She bit and scratched, but I finally did manage to turf her out into the back yard." The cabbie laughed so hard, he hit a parked car.

Deeli's Kudos Kudos to Robert McFarlane of Telus Corporation February 26, 2008 - Vancouver, British Columbia - UPI The Oscars awards gala in Hollywood created a headache for an organ donor agency in British Columbia, Canada, because all charter jets were booked. Bill Barrable, executive director of BC Transplant, told the Globe and Mail a man in a rural part of the province died suddenly Thursday and had an unusually high number of viable organs, including both lungs and kidneys, heart, liver and pancreas. However, after contacting all 11 jet-for-hire companies he has used in the past to get the organ-recovery surgeons to the site and back, he learned all the aircraft were Hollywood-bound, the report said. Last year, the agency booked 23 $15,000 flights on recovery missions and Barrable said he decided to call an old university friend for help -- Robert McFarlane, chief financial officer and vice president of Telus Corp. Within an hour, the company had one of its private jets in the air at no charge and the organs were harvested and returned to Vancouver, Barrable said. Seven people received organ transplants. "It was a race against time," he said. "But talk about a happy ending." Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. "Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and said, "I'm glad you don't do any thinking. You would look silly without long hair."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 211empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Car Light And Maintained For Better Mileage You don't need to carry snow chains around with you in the summertime, just the winter. Also, check your tire pressure. Over-inflated tires can actually reduce your fuel efficiency, so don't overfill. Keep your car tuned up. Cars in poor running condition use more gasoline. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him to take her fishing but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it. She, finally, wore him down, he consented, and early one morning they took off to the lake. They had not been there very long when the fish began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a fish would bite, and they reeled it in. After catching their limit, Bubba said, "Verna Lou, sweet thang, I'm sorry. You've been good luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time. If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go home." On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna Lou and said, "Sweet thang, how did you mark the spot were all the fish are so next time I'll know?" "Bubba, darlin', I put a big 'X' on the side of the boat right down closest to the water." "Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever seed you do. Don't you know that won't work? We may not get the same boat the next time!"

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: American Sign Museum
.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 208 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 527 )

<<First <Back | 134 | 135 | 136 | 137 | 138 | 139 | 140 | 141 | 142 | 143 | Next> Last>>