Dear Webby: Patch for MS-Office 

   Zoom the font size for best readability!
Good Morning,  !
Saturday,  March 1, 2008

Live out of your imagination, not your history. --- Stephen Covey
Thanks to Scorpio for this story: Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says : 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends'. They do it differently in Scottland! Angus McKenzie comes home and finds his wife in bed with his friend. He shoots his wife. Later, at the pub, his friends ask him why he did that. His reply was, "I can budget one bullet, but I got a lot more friends than I want to buy bullets for."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award goes to Eric Holmes of Chicago Not a movie stuntman February 27, 2008 - Chicago, Illinois - UPI Chicago police are holding a suspect in the death of a man who climbed onto the roof of his van after it was stolen by a carjacker. Eric Holmes, 23, was killed when the carjacker tried to shake him off by driving the vehicle into a concrete barrier on Chicago's Dan Ryan Expressway, The Chicago Tribune reported Wednesday. Police say Holmes was stopped at a gas station Tuesday night when a man jumped into his van and drove off. Holmes grabbed the vehicle's luggage rack and pulled himself onto the roof as the van entered the expressway and headed north. A witness said Holmes was trying to enter the vehicle through the passenger door when the driver rammed into the concrete barrier -------------------------- He would have been quite safe hanging on to the ladder in the back and motioning drivers from other cars to call 911.
Thanks to my dad for this picture: A dark rainy day made it possible to take a picture of the Snake Cactus with the sky in the background. It looks much better in sunshine, of course, but my camera can't handle that. With a bright sky behind it, the colors turn out almost black. Papa
Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer!
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Gary Re: MS Office patch Dear Webby, > Word can't open Open Office documents, it is way too primitive for that. Yes it can. The good folks at Sun Microsystems realised that Open Office would never get off the ground if MS Office couldn't read (and save) their documents, so they released a free plugin for MS Office that allows it to do just that. The Sun ODF Patch for Microsoft Office gives users of Microsoft Office Word, Excel and PowerPoint the ability to read, edit and save to the ISO-standard Open Document Format (ODF). The plugin works with Microsoft Office 2007 (Service Pack 1 or higher), Microsoft Office 2003, XP and Microsoft Office 2000. The plugin is based on StarOffice technology and is easy to setup and use, the conversion happens transparently and the additional memory footprint is minimal. MS Office Patch Cheers Gary Dear Gary OK, I'll keep it in mind that SUN has a secret patch for MS Office. I don't really need it myself, since Open Office allows me to save documents in the old prprietory Microsoft format for those who have not upgraded yet. Have FUN! DearWebby

Grammer Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?" Little Johnny: "Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and the preacher ran off to a mission in Africa."

Deeli's Kudos Kudos to the camera person ... February 22, 2008 - Belgrade, Serbia - Reuters BELGRADE, Serbia - A video of two young women looting with gay abandon during rioting in the Serbian capital Belgrade was becoming a Balkan smash hit on the video-sharing Web site YouTube Friday. Police arrested some looters, but public humiliation by YouTube may prove a far more painful punishment for the pair, whose spree Thursday night was also aired on local television stations and was being discussed across the Internet. A persistent amateur cameraman followed the women as they loaded up with chocolates at a corner shop, came out giggling, then went after designer bags, shoes and clothes at Belgrade's swankiest stores in its vandalized main shopping street.

Confusion is one woman plus one left turn; Excitement is two women plus one secret; Bedlam is three women plus one lunch check, Chaos is four women plus one bargain.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Aphid Repellent Plants You can help prevent aphid infestations on your vegetables by planting them with plants that repel aphids. Some examples are anise, chives, coriander, garlic, onions, petunias and radish. Another trick is lay some aluminum foil around the base of a plant, the reflection will help deter the aphids. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The new librarian decided that, instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them that they were signing a "contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and, with a look of utter disgust on his face, handed them to the librarian. Before the librarian could even start her speech, the boy said, disdainfully, "That other librarian we had could write."

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at

Thanks to Sandie for today's Bonus Link: Optical Illusions
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

[ view entry ] ( 165 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1701 )

<<First <Back | 134 | 135 | 136 | 137 | 138 | 139 | 140 | 141 | 142 | 143 | Next> Last>>