Dear Webby: Setting up multiple users in Windows 

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Good Morning,  !
Tuesday,  March 4, 2008

Life is a sexually transmitted disease. --- R. D. Laing The gods too are fond of a joke. --- Aristotle
On a balmy day in the South Pacific, a navy ship spied smoke coming from one of three huts on an island they thought was deserted. Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a "survivor." He said, "I'm so glad you're here! I've been alone on this island for more than three years!" The captain of the ship replied, "But we saw THREE huts." The survivor said, "Oh. Well, I live in one, and go to church in another." "What about the THIRD hut?" asked the captain. "That's where I USED to go to church." What Is Easter? Three cheerleaders died in an accident trying to jump the Grand Canyon. They are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is - "What is Easter"? The first cheerleader replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when we all get together, eat turkey and are thankful." "Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St.Peter. Then he turns to the second cheerleader, and asks her the same question - "What is Easter?" The second cheerleader replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second cheerleader, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place; she is not welcome in Heaven. He then peers over his glasses at the third cheerleader and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is?" The third cheerleader smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. Then the third cheerleader continues ... "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of hockey!"
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to J.P. MorganChase and of New York and Washington Mutual Capital of Washington Too easy check cashing March 3, 2008 - Indianapolis, Indiana - UPI Indiana's state attorney general is suing a California woman who allegedly wrote her name on her employer's $1.26 million tax refund check. Attorney General Steve Carter alleges in the lawsuit filed in federal court that Lucia Abrantes illegally put her name on the refund check Indiana issued to Verizon Capital Corp. Carter claims Abrantes, who is described in the suit as a "rogue employee" of Verizon, deposited the money in her bank account and had it sent overseas. The banks that processed the check, J.P. MorganChase of New York and Washington Mutual Capital of Washington, were also named as defendants in the suit, which says the institutions should not have processed the altered check. Copyright 2008 by United Press International
Thanks to all who sent this picture of a classic Redneck Mansion:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Setting up multiple users in Windows Dear Webby, Can you tell me how to secure my computer so that if there is more than one user each user has to sign in with a password? I am using Windows XP. Thanks. Ann Dear Ann In order to set up a new user account, log in using your administrator account. (If there are no other accounts currently on your machine, then you ARE the administrator) Click Start Choose Control Panel Click User Accounts Windows invites you to choose a task. Among the choices are Changing Accounts, Adding New Accounts, and Changing Logon/Log Off Options. Click Create A New Account Step 1 in the wizard dialog box that appears is to name the account. Enter the name you would like to appear for the users. Click the Next button. Choose the type of account, limited or administrator. (Users that have administrator access can make any changes they wish to the computer, those users with limited access however can not.) Finally, click Create Account In order to add passwords to new or existing accounts, follow these directions: Click Start Choose Control Panel Click User Accounts Click one of the accounts at the bottom of the window. Click Create A Password link and type in the desired password. Follow the instructions to restrict access to your folders and then you are done. To switch between the different users on the machine: Click Start Click Log Off Select Switch Users to change between the different users. Have FUN! DearWebby

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Deeli's Kudos March 3, 2008 - Vancouver, British Columbia - UPI A British Columbia woman who accused the staff at a Vancouver restaurant of being racist has been ordered to pay the eatery $1,500, Canadian media said Monday. Muneinazvo Tima filed a grievance with the BC Human Rights Tribunal claiming an alleged racial incident in 2006 at the restaurant caused her to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, causing her walk in her sleep and do badly in classes at the University of British Columbia, the Vancouver Sun reported. She testified she and a black male companion were forced to wait for a table for 45 minutes, then 20 more for a server, and then 45 minutes more for their meal. The tribunal heard restaurant staff had asked the couple to leave, as her friend had "acted inappropriately" by slapping a staff member's buttocks, the report said. The tribunal ruled Tima's "complaint is not justified," and ordered her to pay $1,500 in legal costs to the restaurant, the report said. Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Two babies were sat in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?" "I don't know," replied the other baby giggling. "What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling. "I'll climb into your crib and find out." He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face. "You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly. "You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?" "It's quite easy, really," replied the proud baby boy, "you've got pink booties and I've got blue ones."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Bath Bib for Bathing Babies Keep yourself dry while giving your baby a bath by creating a large bib from a towel. Just fasten one end of the towel around your neck using a large safety pin and let the rest drape in front of you. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. "Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?" "Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."

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Thanks to Noella for today's Bonus Link: Corrected now, without the trailing / Polar bears
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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