Dear Webby: How to save single Power Point pictures 

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Good Morning,  !
Thursday,  March 6, 2008
Tomorrow is Friday!

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. --- Albert Einstein When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. --- Mark Twain
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried. Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied. Thanks to Darlene for this story: A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks," What's your occupation?" "I'm a Lady of the night," she says. The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to rephrase that. The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". "No, that still won't work. Try again." They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?" "Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year." "Chicken Farmer it is."
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Felipe M. Medina, 18, of Sheboygan, Wisconsin Too dumb to be out and about February 22, Sheboygan. Wisconsin - AP He must have really liked the jacket. An 18-year-old man has been charged with stealing clothing from a department store after police said he showed up for questioning wearing a jacket taken months earlier. Felipe M. Medina, of Sheboygan, was charged Thursday with a misdemeanor count of retail theft. The criminal complaint said Medina took a pair of blue jeans, a black T-shirt and a black jacket from a Kohl's store on Nov. 27 in Sheboygan. Police Capt. James Veeser identified Medina as the suspect after viewing the store surveillance tape. A detective asked Medina to come to the police station Wednesday. He admitted in a police interview that he took the clothes and was currently wearing the stolen jacket, the complaint said. He faces up to nine months in jail if convicted. ... 7663.shtml
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Tired of Global Warming promises and winter lasting longer than normal
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jeannie Re: Saving PowerPoint pictures Dear Webby, Several times over the past few months Ive been sent some amazing power point presentations. Many of the pictures are just breath taking and Id like to save a few of them. How do I do it? I would ask the people that sent them to me for copies of the photos but have already discovered that they have no clue about the photos as they have just forwarded on what was forwarded to them. Any advice or help will be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Jeannie Dear Jeannie Just get OpenOffice. It is free. It has a PowerPoint viewer in it that shows you the thumbnails on the side, and the big pictures in the center. Or you can hit F5 and enjoy the show running on it's own. You can save the individual pictures, and even edit captions and make your own slide show. When you are ready to download Open Office, just go to my toolbox at I got a big link button to it there. Have FUN! DearWebby

Thanks to Cookie for this report: A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just ......?" "Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom." "We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar." "What is your occupation?" she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out, "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations." The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. "Might I ask." said the clerk with new interest. "just what do you do in your field?" Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, [what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (my children). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money." There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom." Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. So... this must make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".

Deeli's Kudos March 3, 2008 - Middletown, Ohio - AP Birthday candles may be in short supply in Middletown, where two unrelated women have turned 104 just three days apart. Marjorie Hunt celebrated her big birthday Monday in the southwest Ohio city, at the retirement community where she lives. At another, Hazel Carter marked her 104th birthday on Thursday. Carter once taught in a one-room schoolhouse, served in the Army during World War II and worked as an executive secretary for more than 40 years before retiring way back when she was 65. Hunt is a reverse snowbird. She had lived in Florida for 30 years before coming back to Ohio. ... -apart.htm

Thanks to Sandie for this story: I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Mitch, having a snack. "Where's your mother?" I asked. "She said she was going to take a shower. Just a second and I'll see." Mitch went to the kitchen tap and turned the hot water on full blast. An indignant yell came from above. Mitch calmly turned off the tap and said, "Yep, she's in the shower."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Zippers on Sofa Cushions Don't assume that the zipper on a sofa cushion covers is so you can remove it and toss it in the washing machine. Look for a tag on the cushion for cleaning instructions. Most cushion covers will shrink if you launder them like you would sheets or clothing, leaving them unusable. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A friend went to her doctor the other day and the man was not very sympathetic with her aches and pains. "You'll just have to learn to live it," he said. When she got her bill for $90, she sent it back, with the notation, "You'll just have to learn to live without it!"

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Thanks to Sandie for today's Bonus Link: Beautiful America
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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