Dear Webby: Fancy slide show 

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Good Morning,  !
Friday,  March 7, 2008
Today is Friday! Wear something red to show your support for the troops

I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. --- Pablo Picasso Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." --- Charles M. Schulz
Thanks to Martin for this story: Ma's Gonna Be Mad! Little Johnny's dad was a farmer in a poor district of the country. One day his Uncle Abner came to visit. Since there were limited accommodations, he was required to sleep with his young nephew, Little Johnny. When Uncle Abner came into the bedroom, he saw Little Johnny kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed. Little Johnny looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?" "Why... The same thing you're doing," replied Uncle Abner. "Ma's gonna be mad," said Little Johnny. "Why will she be mad?" asked Uncle Abner. "Because the bed pan's on this side!" responded Little Johnny. Thanks to Doc for this story: At a veterans' meeting in Washington, D.C., a man approached me and asked, "Do you recognize me?" "Sure," I answered unconvincingly. "What did I do in the Army?" he challenged. With surprising presence of mind, I replied, "You did absolutely nothing." Astonished, he said, "You do remember me!"
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Catherine Aliaga, 38; and Tarsha Williams, 33 from Natick, Massachusetts Bad Examples March 4, 2008 - Natick, Massachusetts - UPI Two Boston-area mothers face assault and battery charges after fighting at a Chuck E. Cheese when one woman's son spent too much time on a game, police said. Catherine Aliaga, 38; and Tarsha Williams, 33, began shouting and fighting during a birthday celebration for Aliaga's son during the weekend. "Unfortunately, a birthday night out turned into a birthday melee," police Sgt. Paul Thompson said. "I don't even know if they finished their pizza." Aliaga was reportedly upset about Williams' 13-year-old son playing a basketball arcade game at the Natick, Mass., Chuck E. Cheese for a long time. Aliaga told her son to be patient while the other boy had his turn with the game. Williams' son apparently pushed the boy, who accused him of "hogging" the game. "Next thing you know words were exchanged," Thompson said and escalated to fisticuffs.
Thanks to Dianne for this picture:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Joy Re: Making fancy PowerPoint shows Dear Webby, After reading today's note from you about power point, it reminded me of an email I received last year with the attached power point program. Could you tell me how they were able to have the the colors re-appear on the pictures and also the pictures with filter effects go back to looking normal? I loved the transitions, but have never seen them in power point. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! Joy Dear Joy Java applets have been doing that for a dozen years, and Open Office Impress for a few years. With Impress you can use any Java or Flash applets for the transitions. Just make some basic slide shows and then enhance them. The newest PowerPoint apparently is offering those features too. Have FUN! DearWebby

On wall in the men's room: "My wife follows me everywhere." Written just below it: "I do not."

Deeli's Kudos March 3, 2008 - London, UK - UPI A Lizard Point, England, man said he turned about 110 pounds of cocaine over to police after he found it washed up on a tourist beach. Frank Partridge, 57, said he discovered the drugs while walking his two dogs at Pentreath cove, The Daily Mail reported Wednesday. "I thought if I didn't take it, someone who might not go to the police would; so I dragged it home, taking it in stages, and then using a wheelbarrow," Partridge said. "It was a bit too big for a doorstop. But I'm very anti-drugs, having five daughters, so I phoned the police straight away," he said. "Luckily I'm one of the good guys, but you wonder how many of these packages might have turned up and not been reported." Partridge's discovery followed a similar find by dolphin researchers near Kynance Cove earlier in February. Researcher James Saulino, who made the discovery, said "Columbia" was printed on the inside of one of the packages. Copyright 2008 by United Press International

The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an invitation to an officer (who was supposed to be the prospective suitor of her daughter's hand). "Mr. and Mrs. Dabney request the pleasure of Captain Black's company at dinner on the 16th of March." She was somewhat dismayed to receive the enthusiastic reply: "With the exception of four men on leave, and two sick, Captain Black's company accept with much pleasure your invitation to dinner on the 16th of March."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Slicing Round Food To prevent an onion, bagel, or anything round from rolling while you slice it, cut a small slice from an edge and use that as a base. Then it it will not roll as easily and is much safer. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The waitress was waiting as patiently as she could while John was dawdling over the breakfast menu. He says: "I never return to a restaurant unless at least one of the sausages I'm served is a match in size for my own." The waitress pulls the menu from the man's hand and says "I'll be right back with the children's menu."

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: SuperCook, the Intelligent recipe finder
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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