Dear Webby: Some missing pictures in emails 



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Good Morning,  !
Monday,  March 10, 2008

The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards. --- Arthur Koestler
The high-school cheerleader confessed to her kindly old Priest that she'd often have sex with her boyfriend in the front seat of his car. "Now my daughter," consoled the Priest, "I'm sure if you think about it, you'll know you've been doing something wrong." "Yeah, I guess you right." replied the cheerleader. "Maybe it would be more comfortable in the back seat....." "I suppose," snarled the leathery sergeant to the private, "that when you're discharged from the Army, you'll wait for me to die just so you can spit on my grave." "Not me," observed the private. "When I get out of the Army, I never want to stand in line again."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to French legislators Not allowed to die without a plot March 7, 2008 - Sarpourenx, France - News.com.au The mayor of a French village has issued a decree banning residents from dying in his territory unless they own a spot in the overcrowded cemetery. "It is forbidden for any person not having a plot in the cemetery ... to die on the territory of the village," the mayor of the southwestern village of Sarpourenx wrote in a decree that warned of "severe punishment" for offenders. Mayor Gerard Lalanne said he had taken the radical measure to protest against a state ruling preventing him from enlarging the burial ground in the village of 260 people. "The first dead person to come along, I'll send him to the state's representative," he said. Mr Lalane said he had been inspired by the mayor of another French village, Cugnaux, who had also outlawed death as a protest last year and who thus won the right to enlarge the village's cemetery. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23 ... 62,00.html
Thanks to Sandie for this picture of her Nun's Orchid
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tom Re: Some missing pictures Dear Webby, I just recently began to get e-mails that should have pictures, but instead the space where the pictures should be is blank with red x's. I can't open them. Can you help? Thanks, Tom Dear Tom If all your emails are missing pictures, then it is a setting in YOUR email program. If just emails from certain people have red x's, then those people need to be told to do things different. Have FUN! DearWebby

John's deer hunting diary: THE DEER HUNT 1:00am Alarm clock rings 2:00am Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed 2:30am Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pick-up 3:00am Leave home for deep woods 3:15am Drive back home and pick up gun 3:30am Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight 4:00am Set up camp - Realize that you forgot the damned tent 4:30am Head out into woods 6:05am See eight (8) deer 6:06am Take aim and squeeze trigger 6:07am "Click" 6:08am Load gun while watching deer go over the hill 8:00am Head back to camp 9:00am Still looking for camp 10:00am Realize you don't know where the camp is -Noon- Fire gun for help - eat some wild berries 12:15pm Ran out of bullets - 8 deer come back 12:20pm Strange feeling in stomach 12:30pm Realize you ate poison berries 12:45pm Rescued!! 12:55pm Rushed to the hospital to have stomach pumped 3:00pm Arrive back at camp 3:30pm Leave camp to kill deer 4:00pm Return to camp for bullets 4:01pm Load gun - leave camp again 5:00pm Empty gun on squirrel that is really bugging you 6:00pm Arrive at camp. See deer grazing in camp. 6:01pm Load Gun 6:02pm Fire gun 6:03pm One Dead Truck 6:05pm Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer! 6:06pm Suppress strong desire to shoot partner 6:07pm In doing so, stumble and fall into fire 6:10pm Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire 6:15pm Take pick-up, leave partner and his deer in woods 6:25pm Pick-up boils over - discover bullet hole in radiator 6:26pm Start walking 6:30pm Started crying, stumble and fall, drop gun in mud 6:35pm Meet great big Bear! 6:35pm Take aim 6:36pm Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud. 6:36pm Lose all control of bodily functions. 6:37pm Climb tree 9:00pm Bear departing, wraps gun around the tree 9:03pm Feeling relieved that bear is gone 9:04pm Start climbing down the tree 9:05pm Fall out of tree -Midnight- Home at last -Sunday- Sitting in bed with cast on leg watching TV, slowly tearing hunting license into itty-bitty pieces, place into envelope, mail to the Game Warden with very clear instructions.

Deeli's Kudos March 5, 2008 - Tacoma, Washington - New York Times Annamarie Ausnes is known for holding up the line at her favorite Starbucks here for her “short drip, double-cupped” daily jolt. Over the years, Sandie Andersen, a friendly barista behind the counter has taken these morning moments to make conversation and to make friends. And then there was the small talk that day last fall. Turns out, Ms. Andersen had made Ms. Ausnes a special offer, off menu. “She reached over the counter and said, ‘I’m a blood match,’ ” Ms. Ausnes said last week, recalling the conversation. Ms. Andersen said, “We both stood there and bawled.” On March 11, the two women are scheduled to go into surgery at Virginia Mason Medical Center in Seattle. If all goes well, when they come out Ms. Ausnes, 55, who has polycystic kidney disease, will be the new owner of Ms. Andersen’s left kidney. Ms. Andersen, 51, has worked at Starbucks for more than four years. Ms Ausnes has been a customer for three years.

Thanks to Martha for this: Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid when it comes to understanding women, but very few are blind.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 313empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Protecting Sheets of Stamps Keep stamps from sticking together by storing them in-between sheets of wax paper. Wax paper also works well for saving stickers, just put them on the shiny side of the wax paper. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand-lettered sign out front. After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets and pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little paint there" would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the listing. "Ma'am," the man said, "I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all, but I think you read my sign wrong. It says, "HORSE for sale."

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Sate the curious mind
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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