Dear Webby: Getting only partial emails 




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Good Morning,  !
Monday,  March 17, 2008
Happy St Patrick's Day!

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father." The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
Paddy was in New York . He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?" OOOPS, I missed another one: STATE and PROVINCIAL MOTTO'S Nova Scotia: Tall ships in the rain
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room. She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?" Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?" "Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a priest from Burkina Faso Bad example March 13, 2008 - Vatican City, Italy - BBC A footballing priest from Burkina Faso has been sent off in a church tournament for throwing his shirt at the referee in Italy. The incident happened in the Clericus Cup over the weekend with the actions of the priest leading to Paul the Apostle's College being eliminated. Italian sports officials had expressed hopes that the tournament held at the Vatican City will help restore a positive image of football in Italy, which has been marred by recent violence. The Clericus Cup is an international football tournament including Catholic priests and seminarians. There are 16 teams made up of the various catholic colleges and church congregations in Vatican City. There is also a team made up of the Pope's bodyguards, the Swiss guards. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/footbal ... 287154.stm
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Thanks to Dianne for this picture of miniature horses
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Duane Re: Partial mails Dear Webby I am not getting the body of the articles. I am only getting what you see below. I was getting everything and then all of a sudden this happens. Do you have any suggestions?? Thanks, Duane Dear Duane Your subject line was: Subject: Re: {Spam?} Re: {Spam?} {Disarmed} Humor: Old printer drivers That makes it very clear that the problem is your mis-configured spam control. Try putting humor@webby.com into the White List or Friends List. Then it should stop messing up your subscription. Have FUN! DearWebby

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!" The Irishman replied, "aye Father, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"

Deeli's Kudos March 12, 2008 - Wellington, New Zealand - AP Most days, Moko the bottlenosed dolphin swims playfully with humans at a New Zealand beach. But this week, it seems, Moko found his mojo. Witnesses described Wednesday how they saw the dolphin swim up to two stranded whales and guide them to safety. Before Moko arrived, rescue workers had been working for more than an hour to get two pygmy sperm whales, a mother and her calf, back out to sea after they were stranded Monday off Mahia Beach. The whales restranded themselves four times on a sandbar slightly out to sea from the beach, about 300 miles northeast of the capital, Wellington. It looked likely they would have to be euthanized to prevent a prolonged death. ''Moko just came flying through the water and pushed in between us and the whales,'' Juanita Symes, a rescuer, told The Associated Press. ''She got them to head toward the hill, where the channel is. It was an amazing experience.'' http://www.happynews.com/news/3122008/d ... es-sea.htm


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A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day when she was handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $50 bill dropped out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her home folks, but as she read the letter her attention was distracted by the actions of a shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning against a post in front of the convent. She couldn't get him off her mind and thinking that he might be in financial difficulties. She took the $50 bill and wrapped it in a piece of paper, on which she had written, "Don't despair, Sister Eulalia." She threw it out of the window to him. He picked it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his hat and went off down the street. The next day she was in her room saying her prayers when she was told that a man was at her door who insisted on seeing her. She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger waiting for her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll of bills. When she asked what the bills were for he replied, "That's the four-hundred bucks you have coming. Don't Despair paid 7-1."

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Good Ol Boy
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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