Dear Webby: Slow first link 

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Good Morning,  !
Wednesday,  March 19, 2008

No man can get rich himself unless he enriches others. --- Earl Nightingale No one will ever WIN the battle of the sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. --- Henry Kissinger
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place: Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda. Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered? Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital. Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital? Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent. Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent? Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is. Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital? Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas. Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents? Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here? Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent? Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving. Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this? Agent: I have my checkbook right here. Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents? Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked. Pizza Man: I don't think so.
A budding actor: "Dad guess what? I've got my first part in a play, I play the part of a man who has been married for 25 years." Father: "That's a good start son, just keep at it and one of these days you'll get a speaking part."
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cleveland Ohio Scraping the bottom of the barrel March 17, 2008 - Cleveland, Ohio - UPI Half of the six candidates seeking a Cleveland City Council seat have criminal records -- including one whose murder conviction bars him from holding office. John Boyd, 50, is prohibited by state law from taking office because he was convicted of murder in 1973 and several additional felonies in the 1980s and '90s, The (Cleveland) Plain Dealer reported Wednesday. "I have not encountered anyone who has told me I can't run," Boyd said. He said he has dedicated his life to inspiring troubles teenagers. Fellow candidates Yvonne Grimes, 57, and Ernest Turner, 57, also have criminal records. Grimes pleaded guilty in 2005 to misdemeanor charges of attempted forgery and theft of less than $500, while Turner was convicted on a misdemeanor drug charge in 1986. Copyright 2008 by United Press International
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Thanks to Donny for this picture:
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Slow first link Dear Webby I need to pick your awesome brain again....When I click on a link - such as the breast cancer or cup of food sites on your ezine the initial click takes about 2 mins to connect to the site.. then the others are easy- this happens on any site not just yours.... any idea what's going on and how I can fix it ????? Haven't a clue or even where to look for this one. Thanks and thanks as always... Ann Dear Ann That is just Telus, your ISP, turning down your speed when you are not busy browsing. The first link you go to is slow, after that they crank your speed up closer to what you are paying for, Yelling at them does no good, they just have a bunch of lame excuses, and do it anyway. They even do it with expensive business accounts. Not all, but many ISPs do that nowadays. Have FUN! DearWebby

On the night of their wedding, a young couple finally retired to their hotel room. After making her preparations, the bride came out of the bathroom to find the bridegroom on his knees in front of the bed. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm praying for guidance," answered the young man. "I'll take care of that," she replied. "You pray for endurance."

Deeli's Kudos March 18, 2008 - Nashville, Tennessee - UPI Tennessee lawmakers are mulling a bill to void restrictive covenants barring blacks, Jews or women from owning property in certain neighborhoods, a report said. Although the covenants cannot be enforced, they remain on paper. The legislation, introduced by Democratic state Sen. Doug Jackson, would allow current property owners and prospective buyers the ability to remove written covenants dealing with race, religion, gender or ethnicity, the newspaper. "They really reflect a time when discrimination was really very ordinary and common and just accepted," Jackson said. "There's no reason for that information to continue to be included in deeds recorded at our courthouse every day."

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Daily tip from Using Broccoli Stems You don't have to throw away those broccoli stems. They can be cooked with broccoli flowers if you cut them into bite size pieces and cut an "x" in each end. They also make a great Cream of Broccoli Soup. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

GROAN ALERT! I was in a church meeting where the topic was "Burial or Cremation?" Two of the people got rather worked up. One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!" The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones. So if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!"

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Splatter
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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