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Good Morning,  !
Monday,  March 24, 2008

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. --- Leo Tolstoy Ninety-nine percent of the world's lovers are not with their first choice. That's what makes the jukebox play. --- Willie Nelson Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it." --- Don Herold
A farmer runs into the pastor of his church after missing the morning service. "I'm sorry I missed you this morning", the pastor says. "Well, Rev'rund", the farmer says,"I had some hay to put up. I figured it was better to sit on a bale of hay thinking about God than to sit in church thinking about hay."
When I went with my stepdaughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told us that the professors were the best in the world, and she recommended my stepdaughter apply early to improve her chances for admission. "We get so many applicants," she boasted, "because of the stature of the school." After the tour I asked our guide, "So, why did you choose this school?" "Oh," she replied matter-of-factly, "my boyfriend works at the McDonalds across the parking lot."
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Social Workers in Middleborough, Massachusetts Who is watching out for the kids? March 21, 2008 - Middleborough, Massachusetts - UPI A 7-year-old boy and his sister were taken into state custody Monday after teachers allegedly found burn marks on him. His mother's boyfriend, David Privette, who was recently released after serving a drug sentence, has been charged with assaulting him. Social workers had visited the boy's home in Middleborough four times since December. On March 4, they went to the home after the school reported that he said he had been burned, but reportedly didn't examine his body for burn marks. "This kid was sent home to be tortured for another 13 days, as far as I'm concerned, because somebody dropped the ball," Middleborough Police Chief Gary J. Russell said.

Thanks to my dad for this picture of his Easter cacti
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lucille Re: Adware Dear Webby; I have run spybot twice. In fact, about two minutes ago, it congratulated me for not harboring threats. I got on the web, and sure enough, crap is still popping up and interrupting the stuff I want to read. Any ideas? Lucille Dear Lucille Stuff that you agreed to suffer in lieu of cash, may not be removed by Spybot-Search & Destroy. If you agreed to it, and it was mentioned on page 74 of the small print, then automatic programs like Spybot may not remove it in a wholesale manner. That's what the judge said. Also keep in mind that, whatever you got popping, might not be spyware at all. Just because it is being a nuisance, that does not mean it is reporting what size bra you bought on eBay or Victoria's Secret. It could be ad-ware or mal-ware or a virus infection, or it could be "in lieu of" crap. Spybot-Search & Destroy goes after spyware. That's all. It doesn't do laundry or vacuuming or anything else. McAfee might be able to kill that ad ware, but they too have to tread very carefully when it comes to wholesale removal of "in lieu" crap. Pinko judges side with the poor, hard done by ***holes, who foist that stuff on you. If McAfee doesn't do it, you will probably have to get some neighborhood wiz kid to go after it. There ARE programs that help in that, but they would just frustrate you and you would wind up heaving the computer out the window. Programs like "Hijack This!" are tools for advanced white-hat hackers. Good Luck! DearWebby

A tornado hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It tore off the roof, and picked up the bed on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping. By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over. The wife was sobbing uncontrollably. "Don't be scared, Mary," her husband said. "We're not hurt." Mary continued to cry. "I'm not scared," she said between sobs. "I'm happy... this is the first time in 14 years we've been out together."

Deeli's Kudos March 19, 2008 - Carpinteria, California - AP A pet macaw named Danny Boy flew the coop in Carpinteria and was found 15 months later some 80 miles away in Pasadena. Greg and Susan Vasilakos, who have moved from Carpinteria to Colorado, learned days ago that Danny Boy has been found. The bird flew away on Dec. 6, 2006, leaving the couple heartbroken. They listed Danny Boy on an online bird lost-and-found Web site, but didn't hear anything until this month. The macaw was found flying free March 12 in Pasadena and taken to the Pasadena Humane Society. The bird was then featured on the society Web site and the Vasilakoses were tracked to their new home in Colorado. Mrs. Vasilakos called the Pasadena shelter and said to put the bird on the phone. The skeptical humane society manager then put the woman on the speaker phone. It seems Danny Boy waves his foot when asked while offering him a treat. Danny Boy, who had been ''sullen and morose,'' heard the familiar voice of his owner and perked up, fluffed up his feathers and became animated. He waved his little foot throughout the ensuing conversation. ... owners.htm

A boss asked his employee, "Why were you trying to go over my head for a raise?" The employee denied it. "I did no such thing." The boss proved his point. "You were praying for a raise weren't you?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Find Your Parked Car Take a moment to mark down your parking spot number or row on a piece of paper. If there is no row or spot number, just count the spaces and rows yourself as you walk from your car to your destination. Also, note what entrance you use so you can leave through the same door. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The minister asked, "Is there anyone in the congregation who wants a prayer said for their shortcomings?" "Yes" said a man in the front pew. "I am a spendthrift. I throw money around like it is growing on trees." "Very well" said the pastor. "We will join in prayer for our brother...just as soon as the collection plate has been passed."

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Creative Designs
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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