Dear Webby, why are AOLers unpopular? 

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Tuesday,  April 1, 2008

China is tired of being badmouthed about their pollution and is considering a class action suit against Bubba Gore and the Algorian Sheep. Since they have 5000 years of weather reports and Mother Nature on their side, they don't have to bend or mis-interprete any stats to prove their case. They are planning to sue for 10 Billion Dollars.
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast", so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. "What's your 'Unique Breakfast'?" he asked inquisitively. "Baked tongue of chicken," she replied proudly. "Baked tongue of chicken? Do you have ANY idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" the man fumed. Undaunted, the waitress asked, "Well, what would you like then, sir?" The man replied, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs."
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Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "I've been volunteered to help move furniture for my mother-in-law tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ronald Long from Deep Water, Missouri Too cheap to buy a long drillbit March 26, 2008 - Jacksonville, Oregon - KGW News Belongings removed from a Southern Oregon man's property have begun slowly reappearing at his home, a day after a pair of hoax ads on Craigslist cost Robert Salisbury much of what he owned. The ads popped up Saturday afternoon, saying the owner of the home was forced to leave the area suddenly and his belongings, including a horse, were free for the taking, said Jackson County Sheriff's Detective Sgt. Colin Fagan. The independent contractor was at Emigrant Lake when he got a call from a woman who had stopped by his house to claim his horse. On his way home he stopped a truck loaded down with his work ladders, lawn mower and weed eater. "I informed them I was the owner, but they refused to give the stuff back," Salisbury said. Once home he was greeted by close to 30 people rummaging through his barn and front porch. He turned some license plate numbers over to police. By late Monday, some people who learned of the hoax began to return items taken from the home. Fagan says prosecution is likely for anybody caught with Salisbury's property. If they return the taken items, no charges will be filed. Meanwhile, Salisbury could not even relax on his porch swing -- someone took it. ... b2c9c.html
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Thanks to Wade in Idaho for sending this picture: Caucus time: Delegates flocking to their candidate Just wait for tomorrow's pictrue, also by Wade!
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Winnie Re: WHY U HATE AOLERS? WHY U HATE AOLERS AND ALLWAYS TALK IN HOSILE MODE WEN AOLES ARE CONCERND ND MAKE FUN OF US? AN WHY U ALLWAYS SAY AOL IS NO BOOD FOR BIZNESS? Dear Winnie Not all AOLers are uncouth and sloppy barbarians who are too lazy to type properly, too rude to use a greeting on top and a sign-off at the bottom, and who never proof read their writing. Not all of them, it's just that the other 6 Million AOLers are giving them a bad name. In addition to that, a lot of AOLers have the annoying habit of hitting their "This is spam" button instead of unsubscribing, or change addresses without changing their subscriptions, and causing bounces. Also, because AOL mail is as unreliable as Yahoo mail, you can't really count on getting important business mail. If you want to get into business, the sooner you graduate from AOL, the better for you. DearWebby

Whats the worst thing a wife can get on her twentieth wedding anniversary?" And you know what the answer is? "Morning Sickness."

Deeli's Kudos March 31, 2008 - Dallas, Texas - ABC News When suspected drug dealers shot Dallas Police Detective David Rodriguez 14 years ago, leaving him paralyzed, they may have ended his law enforcement career but he never lost his street smarts. So when Rodriguez, now a paraplegic, pulled his silver pickup truck up to a Dallas Jack-in-the-Box drive-through window Monday afternoon, the 60-year-old said he soon noticed the terrified look on an employee's face. Royal Robinson, 34, had reportedly flashed a handgun at employees and asked them to empty out the cash register. He stuffed about $174 into his pockets before fleeing. Seeing the suspect running, Rodriguez pulled out of the drive-in line with his vehicle, which is specially outfitted to be driven by hand. He called 911 from his cell phone as he followed the gunman. When the robber realized someone was tailing him, he drew a handgun and pointed it at the retired officer. Rodriguez threw his truck into reverse to block him; and Rodriguez says Robinson then took off but police found him cowering behind a trash bin. The Dallas police force is bursting with pride over Rodriguez's a ctions.

An English soldier, an American solider and a Russian soldier found themselves sharing a table in a Bosnian restaurant, and the conver sation turned towards how well fed each of them was. "In the Russian army we have 2000 calories of food a day" said the Russian. "Well", said the Englishman, "In the British army we are given 4000 calories of food a day." "That's nothing", said the American, "in the US army we have 8000 calories of food a day". At this the Russian got very annoyed. "Nonsense", he said, "how could one man eat that much cabbage!!!."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Chill Your Jello Mold Place your Jello mold in fridge to chill before adding the Jello mixture. This will keep the "skin" off the mold. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

GROAN ALERT! Jimmy: 'Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.' Mike: 'To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.' Jimmy: 'What? Let me get this straight.... You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can't believe it!' Mike: 'Well, yeah. After all, you know, he's a parrot fish.' Jimmy: 'Now listen,' Mike, 'while you might be able to teach a parrot to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish....' Mike: 'Yeah! That's what you think! This fish can sing all right.... The thing is, he keeps singing off-key and it's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?'

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Cheese
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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