Dear Webby: What to look for in a new computer 



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Saturday,  April 11, 2008


Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad. --- Diogenes the Cynic There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. --- George Santayana
A world convention of brewers was held in Amsterdam. The presidents of the world's greatest breweries were on hand. As usual, a convention dinner brought them together on the first evening. When asked what they would like to drink, the CEO of Miller said, "A Miller Lite, please." The president of Anheuser Busch said, "I'll have a Michelob." Adolph Coors requested a Coors. And so it went, around the long table, each president requesting a brew from his own company. Finally, the waiter came to Arthur Guinness. "And you, sir?" he queried. "I'll have a coke," was Guinness's reply. The waiter was shocked. "A COKE?!? Wouldn't you rather have a Guinness, sir?" Arthur looked at the waiter, then gestured at his companions. "If they're not drinking beer, then neither am I.".
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My friend Tim took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned toward marriage. Tim had been saving for an engagement ring - but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a computer. Mary was understanding, telling Tim they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Tim suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned. But after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted, "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Tim then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "will you buy me a computer?"
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to two teenagers in orlando, Florida Equal Split April 3, 2008 - Orlando, Florida - UPI Two Florida teenagers have been charged with aggravated assault for allegedly pointing a look-alike toy sniper rifle at a truck driver. Police in Orlando came to the scene Tuesday night after a trucker reported seeing someone pointing a gun at a Federal Express driver. Police found the two teens, aged 18 and 19, at a nearby motel. The "rifle," actually an air gun, was found in a search of their motel room. The teenagers said they did not deliberately point the rifle at anyone, that they were just examining it. "It's a toy but it looks real," an officer said. "I can guarantee you that if they would have pointed it at one of the deputies, they would not have hesitated to use deadly force." http://www.arcamax.com/newsheadlines/s-327473-110024
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Thanks to Sandiei for this picture: First Birds of Paradise of the year
A touching funeral was in progress and the preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa. We might be at the wrong funeral!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank Re: New Computer Choice Dear Webby I appreciate your candid advice regarding computers and programs and I've heeded many of them. Mailwasher and Diskkeeper are the best. I now need information regarding purchase of a new computer and maybe even a printer. I'm a retiree that does consulting for customers to supplement income. I use a computer daily for a few hours at a time, sometimes up to 6-8 hours at a stretch. I am not a gamer and don't play computer games. I have Cox Cable as my internet provider there is no other choice except dial up in this area. My intentions are to purchase from a local computer store that has an excellent reputation but I don't need all the bells and whistles that they would like to sell. I want something with a lot of memory and is fast. I do store PDF files and some lengthy word and excel documents. I'm thinking about a new monitor also with a larger sceen. I do not speak the computer language so keep your explanation easy to understand. Color printing is a must. Also a sound / speakers that have good quality. I working from an old (1998) HP Pravillion that has had memory updated about 3 years ago. Thank you Frank Dear Frank If you are going to buy from a local store, then you are pretty well limited to what they have to offer. I used to build and sell computers until the mid 90's. Nowadays I buy them from DELL, with 3 year, next day on-site repair/replace warranty. Since I don't use computers for games, I buy the cheapest XP machines they have and if necessary add a second GB of RAM. Everything else is OK as is. You can configure one on-line at DELL, print out the quote and take that along to the local store and ask them to match it. Make sure it is an XP machine with all drivers and ready to use. If I got to spend two hours configuring it, I charge shop rate for that and tack it onto the quote, before comparing different quotes. For printers, Staples advertised a Canon MultiFunction color laser for under $200 for this and next week. If your local Staples has the same deal, go for it. According to the reviews, it prints not quite glossy brochure quality, but more than good enough for home and office use, since you probably use the fairly cheap paper anyway. At the same time, you might want to also get whatever you need to either network the old and the new machine, or a portable USB hard drive case to match the drive in the old machine. You won't be able to use the drive from the old machine inside the new one, but if it is in a $12 USB drive case, you can plug it into a USB slot. That makes transferring data a lot easier. Then you can simply drag your MailWasher and email program and any other data from the USB drive to the drive in the new machine. Have FUN! DearWebby

"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she had spent the night with her sister Shirley." "So?" "So she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley."

Deeli's Kudos April 3, 2008 - Afghanistan - Gimundo On February 9th, Matt Croucher, a Lance Corporal with the British Armed Forces, was traveling with his troop through Afghanistan at dawn, searching for a compound where they believed members of the Taliban were making bombs. It was dark, and the soldiers could barely see a single step in front of their own feet. Suddenly, Croucher stepped into a tripwire, which pulled the pin out of a grenade that had been hidden in the ground. "Grenade!" Croucher shouted, to warn his fellow troops. But as the other soldiers dove for cover, Croucher didn't run away: Instead, to protect his fellow men, he lay his body down on top of the grenade just before it exploded. "My reaction was, 'My God this can't be real'," Croucher's patrol commander, Adam Lesley, said. "Croucher had simply lain back and used his day sack to blunt the force of the explosion.." When the grenade went off, Croucher's backpack was flung about 30 feet in the air, but remarkably, the brave soldier himself was virtually uninjured, though the incident had left him in a temporary state of shock. Croucher's fellow soldiers were astounded by his bravery under such extreme circumstances, and he's now being considered for Britain's highest honor, the Victoria Cross, which has only been awarded to nine servicemen since World War II. http://www.gimundo.com/Articles/Daily/9 ... low_Troops

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few days of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish?

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 080401@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Firewood Tips: Buying Firewood It's always best to shop for firewood before you need it. Sometimes you can find great deals in the spring and summer. Look for classified ads, bulletin boards and neighborhood signs. Firewood is generally sold in cords, face cords, ricks or truckloads. For More Frugal Tips, Click Here http://www.thriftyfun.com/Better%20Livi ... _1307.html Click Here For More Pet Tips http://www.thriftyfun.com/Pets_1078.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A secretary, a paralegal and a partner in a city law firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the secretary. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Medical Myths Busted
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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