Dear Webby: Mailer Daemon returns 

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Tuesday April 15

It is one of the beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to be kind to another, without helping himself. -- Bailey
The new preacher, at this first service, had a pitcher of water and a glass on the pulpit. As he preached,he drank until the pitcher of water was completely gone. After the service, someone asked an old woman of the church, "How did you like the new pastor?" "Fine," she said, "but he's first windmill I ever saw that was powered by water."
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Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny smiled and said, "Canoe?"
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to April 14, 2008 - Royal Palm Beach, Florida - UPI Officials in a Florida community say they are willing to foreclose on two brothers' house for not paying fines for illegally keeping a big truck there. Christopher and Jeff George of Royal Palm Beach lost their appeal of the $10,000 in fines the village levied against them over the course of two years for keeping a Ford F-650 truck, the second-largest pick-up truck made by Ford, in the residential neighborhood. The brothers argued unsuccessfully in court that the village was violating their constitutional rights by not allowing them to keep the truck at home. The Palm Beach County Circuit Court sided with the village, and Lynda Walker, the village's code enforcement supervisor, said Royal Palm Beach may foreclose on the $348,000 house to recover the unpaid fines. Jeff George, 27, said he plans a further appeal, but will pay the fines before losing the house. "I'm going to appeal it again," he said. "It's not going to end until I win. I'm in the right." Copyright 2008 by United Press International
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From the Tech Support Pits: From Ted Re: Mailer Daemon returns Dear Webby, I have had a few mailer daemon returns like this one I just received. Sorry. Your message could not be delivered to: joshua croft,DCSD Mail (The name was not found at the remote site. Check that the name has been entered correctly.) The problem is I never sent a message to the delivery addresses on these Daemon returns. Could spyware be using my computer to send messages that I am unaware of. If so what can I do about it? Ted Dear Ted There is a lot of spam coming out of comcast, so much in fact that the blacklists flag it as bad. Part of that is probably due to addresses being available to spammers, who forge them as return addresses. When spam, that has your address forged as the return address, bounces back from a full or no longer working address, it of course bounces to you. Just make a filter with MailWasher to trash mail that has your return or sender address but not your machine ID. Have FUN! DearWebby

Thanks to Lynn for this one: I have the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All I have to do is mention it to my husband and he says, "Let's eat out!"

Deeli's Kudos April 14, 2008 - Fort Worth, Texas - Star Telegram Johnny Bryant spent 30 years working at supermarkets in Fort Worth, Texas. Even though the mentally-challenged man was illiterate and couldn't do math, he became very skilled at stocking the grocery stores' shelves and his years of hard work and careful saving added up to a lot of money: By 2002, the 58-year-old had saved more than $151,000 to put towards a well-earned retirement. That year, when the Winn-Dixie store where Bryant worked shut down, he had to decide what to do with his life savings. Unfortunately, it seems he trusted the wrong person to help him make that decision: A local woman named Cynthia Sue Hardee convinced Bryant to invest his money into starting a business with her. Hardee misappropriated more than $75,000 of Bryant's money. Hardee was sentenced to five years in prison, and fined $10,000 for her abuse of Bryant's bank account. Sadly, the courtroom couldn't do much to help Bryant, who is now $40,000 in debt to the IRS for cashing his retirement plan early. But the case's jurors made a surprising decision: They would help Bryant themselves by creating a donation fund for him. Most contributed the $166 fee they'd received for serving on the jury; some gave even more. If you're interested in contributing to the fund, visit this page for details on how to donate:

A large, well-established Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe and knocked on the head lumberjack's door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man. "Okay, see that giant cedar over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down." The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the man. The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?" "In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man. "You mean the Sahara Desert ?" asked the lumberjack. The little man laughed and answered back, "Yes, I suppose, that's what they call it now!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Sturdy Crayons When you get new crayons, wrap them with some masking tape, Leave the name uncovered, if you like. They will be less likely to break but still can be sharpened. Click Here For More Parenting Tips ... _3674.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A spiritualist who'd recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly that she'd just received a message from her dead husband - asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes. "The only thing is," she mused, "that I don't know where to send them." "Why not?" asked her friend. "Well, he didn't actually say that he was in Heaven - but I can't imagine he'd be in Hell." "Hm," responded the friend. "Well, maybe I shouldn't bring this up, but. . . did he mention anything about including matches in the package?"
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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