Dear Webby: List of file names 

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Good Morning, Text-Start !
It's Saturday April 19

There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers. --- William James
Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?" Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that there Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"
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A wise, old Indian chief was famous for predicting what the weather would do. A group of people went up to the chief and asked him, "What will the weather be like tomorrow?" The chief replied, "Much rain. Very wet." The next day, it did rain and it was very wet. Some more people went up to the chief and asked, "What will the weather be like tomorrow?" "Much snow. Very cold." Sure enough, it snowed and it was very cold. People were so impressed with this, they asked him another time. Chief," they asked, "what will the weather do tomorrow?" The chief replied, "I dunno. I was watching wrestling instead of the weather channel."
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the Genesee County Road Commission April 18, 2008 - Flint, Michigan - UPI Police in Flint, Mich., said two officers were billed a total $170.62 by the county for damaging a sign during a car chase. The Genesee County Road Commission billed Officers Joseph Hall and Clarence Banks $56.87 each after a guardrail and "signal ahead" sign were run over by the officers while pursing a stolen vehicle last November, WNEM-TV in Flint reported Tuesday. Keith Speer, president of the Flint Police Officers Association, said the billing was unprecedented during his 22 years with the organization. "I don't know who's going to pay for it, but our officers are not going to pay for it," Speer said. "It's ridiculous." The suspect who allegedly drove the stolen car has also been billed $56.87 for the damaged property. Copyright 2008 by United Press International
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From the Tech Support Pits: >From Kate RE: List of file names Dear Webby I know Windows doesn't have an easy way to print a list of the file names in a folder, but I have received CD's from friends that had a neatly printed list of the files. I don't want dates or sizes, just the file names. How is that done? Kate Dear Kate The easiest way is to use DOS. First make a directory (folder) where you keep those lists. Then click on START, RUN and type: cmd That opens a DOS window. Type "cd" (without the quotes), then a space, then the name of the folder that you want listed. Hit Enter. The prompt should now be showing the same as what you saw in the top address bar in Windows Explorer. Now type "dir /b > dirlist.txt" instead of dirlist.txt you can use any file name you want, but make the extension ".txt" Now you can use any word processor or even a spreadsheet program to open "dirlist.txt", format it the way you want it, and print it. You can even paste the contents of "dirlist.txt" into programs for making CD and DVD case inserts. Have FUN Dear Webby

Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Uncle Charlie and send me the bill." Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. But, when the bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, he finally called his brother again to find out what was going on. "Well," said the other brother, "You said to do something nice for Uncle Charlie...... So I rented him a tuxedo!"

Deeli's Kudos April 15, 2008 - Victoria, British Columbia - UPI Three Canadian veterinarians have ponied up $2.2 million for an island off British Columbia as a vacation resort for rescued dogs. All three animal doctors are from the province of Alberta, and have been involved in helping "special needs" dogs, including four dogs who survived Hurricane Katrina, which devastated the U.S. Gulf Coast in 2005. The three bought Rabbit Island from a California man in January, and have since made it a human and canine retreat. Dr. Pilar Gosselin and fellow vets Dave Brace and Dave Szentimrey plan to allow only a few dogs to stay to run free on the island, which has a lodge, four cabins, a bathhouse, a desalination plant and equipment to produce solar and wind power. "I've committed myself to making the dogs' lives better," Gosselin said. Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Donna was driving home and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner knew her, and remembered that she still had not paid a bill from half a year ago, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So Donna went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, Rachel, came home and said, "What are you doing?" Donna told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Rachel rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Fix Leaky Toilets A leaky toilet can waste 50 gallons or more per day. To test to see your toilet is leaking, put drops of food coloring into the toilet tank. Wait 15 minutes. If color has made it's way to the bowl, you have a leak. Try replacing the flush valve in the tank to correct the problem. For More Plumbing Tips, Click Here ... 4_614.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

One morning, while shaving, George started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?"

Thanks to Dianne for the Bonus Link for today: Free Puzzle Games with Shockwave
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Well, Text-Start, that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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