Dear Webby: Modify pictures before resizing 

   Zoom the font size for best readability!
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday April 21

"The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it--they're the ones falling down the most!" --Jay Leno "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL." -- Lynn Lavner
An embarrassed young woman was farting uncontrollably when her date was due to arrive. She was an accomplished pianist so to drown the noise she offered the play the Storm Scene from the William Tell Overture. She had concluded the piece when she felt another fart attack on its way and quickly asked him if he would like another tune on the piano. "Well if it is that storm scene again," he said, "can you leave out the bit where the lightning strikes the outhouse?
YOUR ad could be here!

After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them. Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. That's me. And don't call the last one. That's my receptionist. She's a silly bimbo. You can do a lot better than that!"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the speaker of the British House of Commons April 3, 2008 - London, UK - UPI The speaker of the British House of Commons has admitted that taxpayers paid the taxi fare when his wife went shopping. The Parliamentary Commissioner of Standards, the official in charge of looking into allegations of corruption in Parliament, is to investigate Michael Martin. Mary Martin reportedly spent 4,000 pounds ($8,000) on taxis to and from the supermarket. Mike Wallace of the alliance said the speaker should stand aside until the investigation is completed, calling it inappropriate for someone who appears to have taken advantage of the parliamentary expense system to be in charge of it.
Click here to Top Secret Fat Loss Secret
Near Page, Arizona
From the Tech Support Pits: From Rollie RE: Modify pictures before resizing? Dear Webby, Is it better to sharpen, lighten, darken etc on a digital picture before or after resizing it to the size needed? Thanks Rollie Dear Rollie It's best to do any picture tuning before you reduce the size. All those changes get blended in and look more natural after the resizing operation. The resizing should be the final operation before saving it under a new name. I usually don't save during any tuning, just in case I need an original version. Have FUN! Dear Webby

A few years ago, as a solar eclipse approached, some planetarium directors in Southern California sent out warnings to the community about the eclipse. They warned people not to look directly into the sun. The planetarium received an indignant letter from a local resident. She said that if an eclipse was so dangerous, they never should have decided to hold one and ought to cancel it.

Deeli's Kudos February 24, 2007 - Sacramento, California - UPI A California state senator presented a bill to require a law enforcement officer on board all cruise ships leaving the state's ports, officials said. If the bill is passed, California would have the toughest regulations in the $35.7 billion business, which became the center of public and congressional scrutiny after multiple reported cases of sexual assault, missing people and overboard passengers. "We've got air marshals on planes with a couple hundred passengers, but we've got no one on board the cruise ships with 10 times the number of passengers," said Sen. Joe Simitian, author of the bill. Simitian reportedly said the ship's security officers, which the ship's hire themselves, have a "conflict of interest between public regulations goals of the employer and the public safety requirements of the passenger. "

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter -- have you never seen a little boy before?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Don't Cut Too Much at Once Don't mow more than 1/3 of the grass height in one mowing. If you need to cut really long grass, mow it over a couple of days, cutting 1/3rd of the grass on each day. If your grass is growing too quickly, try scaling back how much you water and fertilize it. For More Lawn Tips, Click Here Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A walker exploring the delights of the Isle of Mull lost his way in the mist and wandered around aimlessly for three days. At last, the mist rose slightly and he saw a man in the distance. "Help" he cried and stumbled towards the man who waited for him to reach him. "Whit's the matter" said the local man. "I'm lost and I've been wandering around for three days" replied the hiker. "Is there a reward out for ye, dae ye think?" asked the local. The walker said he didn't think there would be. "In that case, you're still lost" said the local and faded into the mist.

Thanks to Dianne for the Bonus Link for today: The Science Channel
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

[ view entry ] ( 170 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 814 )

<<First <Back | 132 | 133 | 134 | 135 | 136 | 137 | 138 | 139 | 140 | 141 | Next> Last>>