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It's Tuesday April 22

Men who never get carried away should be. --- Malcolm Forbes
Judi was in England with a tour group. They had to cross the road so they used the 'Pelican crossing' [pedestrain crossing]. When the light goes to 'Walk' they emit a high pitched beeping. Judi asked what the noise was. Her guide replied it was for the blind. Judi responded, 'Oh, we don't allow blind drivers in the States!'
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Returning home from work, this lady in Baltimore, a town famous for their excellent K-9 police squads, had been shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcasted the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a BLIND cop!"
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to April 21, 2008 - London, UK - UPI Lord Justice Ward of London's Appeal Court said Robert Beton had an "arguable" case that a Kingston County Court judge may have erred in siding with neighbor Colin Streets in Beton's suit, which claimed Streets had erected a fence that cut off two small triangles of Beton's garden that totaled slightly less than one quarter of an acre. The county judge ruled the property belonged to Streets due to the legal principle of adverse possession because the fence had been up for several years before Beton issued a challenge. However, Beton claimed he did not see the fence until 2005 because it had been blocked by rhododendron bushes that died that year. Ward ruled to allow the appeal, but he chided the neighbors, both millionaires, for allowing the dispute, which has cost the neighbors a total of $600,000, to continue. "Just how much is this stupid piece of land worth? What you are arguing over is a few rhododendron bushes," he said. "You're all potty." Copyright 2008 by United Press International
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Some people told me to get off the rocks. OK, here I am UNDER a rock near Marble Canyon, Arizona
From the Tech Support Pits: From Don Re: Icon for desktop Dear Webby, I have Windows XP Home Edition with service pack 1. Can you please tell me where in Win XP I might find the icon for the desk top, or how I may create one? I have searched every where in the computer that i can think of. but am unable to find a desk top icon or how to create one, thanks for your help. Don Dear Don The Windows Key plus D works the best for that. However, if you have an ancient keyboard without the Windows key, you can make a taskbar icon for it. Make a text file with notepad or wordpad and save it into c:\windows\ as Show Desktop.scf Paste this into that file: __________________ [Shell] Command=2 IconFile=explorer.exe,3 [Taskbar] Command=ToggleDesktop ___________________ Then make a shortcut to that file, drag that shortcut to the desktop drag it from the desktop to the task bar next to the START button. That taskbar icon will then work the same as if you had hit the Windows key and "D". Have FUN! Dear Webby

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period." "I haven't got a clue," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. When he heard that, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and Revernd Hibbert next door shot himself."

Deeli's Kudos April 21, 2008 - US - Reuters Harry Lee McGinnis, better known as "The Hawk," has trekked through all 50 states, criss-crossed the Continent, and explored the depths of Asia, Africa, and South America, carrying only a 100-pound backpack and a large steel-tipped walking staff, walking everywhere he goes. You might imagine this intrepid adventurer as a young Indiana Jones type, but picture Indy's dad instead: McGinnis is 80 years old. His age hasn't slowed him down for a second, though. For the last 18 years, this World War II veteran and former Methodist minister has committed his life to exploring the world by foot, taking other means of transportation only under extremely rare circumstances. To date, he's made his way through 66 different countries and making new friends in every country he passes through. His feet have logged about 80,000 miles so far, and he plans to explore Central America and Mexico before finally concluding his round-the-world journey in Texas. Until then, he's writing updates about his international adventures on his website, Walk of the Hawk. He doesn't expect to be finished with his journey until 2010 or 2012, but he's still got plenty of plans for the rest of his days: When he finally heads home, he'll write a book about his decades of wandering the planet. And after that? "I want to play tennis at 100," though he concedes "it might have to be doubles." ... _the_World

Answering machine message: "This is the microwave. The answering machine eloped with the VCR and is currently not available. I can't record your message, but if you want me to boil your brain, please hold your phone close to your head."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Keeping Floors Clean When Moving In To prevent footprints in your new home, create walkways with drop cloths where the movers will be walking. If you have a lot of people helping with you move, have half the people unload the truck and half the people distribute the items throughout the house with clean shoes or no shoes. Click Here For More Moving Tips Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Friends took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada. To help pass the time, the boy practiced his new reading skills by calling out road signs. He fell asleep just before they entered Quebec. When he awoke, he saw the French highway signs and said in a worried tone, "I think I forgot how to read while I was asleep."
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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