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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday April 27

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. 
She changes it more often." 
--Oliver Herford 

"The face of a child can say it all, 
especially the mouth part of the face."
--Jack Handey

I parked my car at the supermarket and was walking past a row of empty shopping carts when the cart-girl standing there called after me, "Excuse me, Sir, did you want that cart?" "No," I answered. "I'm only after one thing." As I walked into the store, I heard her mumble: "Typical male!"
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If somebody is pestering you for your phone number, or if you want to detour a telemarketer, give them this number: 212-479-7990 It's the New York Rejection Line. For numbers in other states, check out
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the Florida Senate Thanks to Arturas for this submission. April 26, 2008 - Tallahassee, Florida - Reuters Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state. Republican Sen. Cary Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis, Florida, called the adornments offensive and proposed the ban. Motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by brand names like "Truck Nutz" and resemble the south end of a bull moving north. The Florida Senate voted last week to add the measure to a broader transportation bill, but it is not included in the House version. In a spirited debate laced with double entendre, Senate lawmakers questioned whether the state should curtail freedom of expression in vehicle accessories. Critics of the ban included the Senate Rules Chairman, Sen. Jim King, a Jacksonville Republican whose truck sported a pair until his wife protested. The bill's sponsor doubted it would succeed. "It's probably not going to make it through the process," Baker said on Thursday. "It won't be much of story in a few days." ... ddlyenough ----------------- People could just call them "Senators" and leave it at that.
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Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Hohenfels, Germany, 04/24/08 Latitude 49.21667 Longitude 11.83333 Altitude 442 m Looks like they don't have any Global Warming either. Mother Nature seems to want to make it perfectly clear who is in charge and who is full of BS.
From the Tech Support Pits: Dear Webby's Tech Support Pits: From Janine RE: Fresh browser window Dear Webby, Normally I want my browser to re-use already open windows, so that it doesn't gobble up more memory than my computer has. But occasionally I DO want a link to go to a brand new window without losing the one that is open. Is there a way to do that without changing all the settings in MSIE? Thanks Janine Dear Janine Yes, sure there is. Hold down SHIFT while you click on that link. Have FUN Dear Webby

A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; whle his hobby was golf. The other night, during a deep sleep, the man yelled, 'Fore!' His wife, also in a deep sleep and not missing a beat, yelled back, 'Four Fifty!'

Deeli's Kudos April 25, 2008 - Indianapolis, Indiana - UPI A blind Indianapolis man says he "kind of went crazy," wrestling a burglary suspect into submission and holding him with a kitchen knife until police arrived. "I just kind of panicked and just kind of went crazy after that," Allan Kieta told The Indianapolis Star. "I've wrestled all my life. My dad's a Marine; he taught me some stuff. You're thinking in your head all this survival stuff." Kieta, who is legally blind, had taken a day off work Monday. He realized something was wrong when he heard his "little poodle-like dog" barking. He told the newspaper he surprised the man in the laundry room and pummeled and kicked him until he was quiet. He dragged him into the kitchen by the belt, found a kitchen knife and then dialed 911 with his left hand, which took him about 20 tries. Police arrested Alvaro Castro, 25, and took him to a detention unit in a hospital. Copyright 2008 by United Press International

A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor, a juror is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Ironing Tip: Ironing Delicate Fabrics Use some sort of a pressing cloth when ironing delicate fabrics and don't use high heat. Lightweight cotton towels work well as a pressing cloth. Just lay the pressing cloth on the item you wish to iron and it will help protect it from the heat. For More Laundry Tips, Click Here For More Storage Ideas, Click Here ... 9_699.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Easy Latin: Veni, Vidi, Vici -- I came, I saw, I conquered Veni, Vidi, Velcro -- I Came, I Saw, I Stuck Around Veni, Vidi, Visa -- I Came, I Saw, I went shopping Veni, Vidi, Volvo -- I Came, I Saw, I Drove Veni, Vidi, Venison -- I Came, I Saw, I ran over a deer Veni, Vidi, Vanish -- I Came, I Saw, I Disappeared Veni, Vidi, Fiji -- I Came, I Saw, I ran far away Veni, Vidi, Fuji -- I Came, I Saw, I took a picture Veni, Vidi, Vodka -- I Came, I Saw, I Drank Veni, Vidi, Vomit -- I Came, I Saw, I Drank Too Much Veni, Vidi, Violin -- I Came, I Saw, I made a horrible screeching noise OK, YOU make up some more !

Thanks to Dianne for the Bonus Link for today: Blackwing Sketchbook:
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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