Dear Webby, is SP3 safe? 

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Good Morning,  !
Thursday,  May 8, 2008

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. --- Evelyn Waugh Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. --- Friedrich von Schiller
Thanks to Sandie for this story: I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the technician was lining up her machine, I told her I have dextrocardia. "What's that?" she asked. "It means my heart is on the right side of my chest rather than on the left," I answered. "You should set up your machine to accommodate that." As she re-attached the wires, she asked casually, "Tell me, have you had that for long?"
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rich Moyle and the North Lauderdale City Commission Divide the state, double the cost May 7, 2008 - North Lauderdale, Florida - South Florida Sun-Sentinel Thanks to Kathie for this submission One city commission wants to divide Florida into two states: North Florida and South Florida. The North Lauderdale City Commission says in a resolution that it's not confident in state leaders when it comes to collecting and spending their own money. It also says it would be "in the best interests of the citizens and residents" to divide the state. Commissioner Rich Moyle says they're frustrated with the state Legislature "ignoring the cities in South Florida." But he acknowledges the idea likely won't pass. When asked Tuesday about the resolution, Governor Charlie Crist could only muster up a laugh. Meanwhile, other municipalities and counties are being asked to join in the resolution. The boundary line would be from Palm Beach County down through Monroe County.
A doctor told Mrs. Stone to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his stamina. A month later when Mrs. Stone came in for another visit, the doctor asked, "How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?" Mrs. Stone answered, "Well, he's a little behind with the pills, but he's about six months ahead with the whiskey."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Brenda (and many others) Re: Is SP3 safe? Dear Webby M$ is trying to download SP3 into my computer. Is it safe? Brenda Dear Brenda Yes, SP3 seems to be quite safe. It's just a collection of the bug fixes and security patches that have been released since SP2, just in case you missed any automatic updates. There are no new goodies, that might tempt you to hold off with Vista even a minute longer. It's just a grudingly released collection of fixes. Just make sure you got your IE7 blocker in place, so that they can't slither that in on you. Have FUN! DearWebby

Thanks to Scorpio for this story: Two Québecois businessmen in Trois-Rivières were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.' No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Newfie walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Newfie accent asked 'What might ye be sellin' here?' One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling morons.' Without skipping a beat, the Newfie said, 'You're doing well ... only two left!'

Deeli's Kudos May 7, 2008 - Northport, New York - Gimundo Alia Sabur, a math and physics professor from Northport, New York, is only 19 years old and the youngest college professor in history. This girl genius caught the education bug early in life. She was reading by 8 months of age, and had finished elementary school by 5 – right around the time when her peers were entering kindergarten. By the age of 14, she'd graduated summa cum laude with a degree in applied mathematics from Stonybrook University, which she followed with an M.S. and a Ph.D in materials science and engineering from Drexel University. Three days before her 19th birthday, Sabur landed a teaching job as a college professor at Konkuk University in Seoul, South Korea. The position is set to start next month, but until then, she's practicing her lecture skills at Southern University in New Orleans, where she's teaching math and physics. ... _Professor

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to New York . I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free." A little later, on her way out, the wife walks past the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he is going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live in New York on $800 a year.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Clutter Control: Wallets and Purses Clean out your wallet or purse at least once a week. File important receipts and business cards that you have collected and don't carry anything that you don't need. If you are carrying your wallet in your back pocket, the thinner it is, the easier it is on your back when you sit down. Visit ThriftyFun For More Clutter Control Tips By Clicking Here ... 9_680.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

While I was preaching at a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them. The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them. "This is our prison quartet," he said. "Behind a few bars and always looking for the key."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: US Gas Prices by Zip Code
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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