Dear Webby: Can I conncet a Win 98 to an XP computer? 

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Good Morning,  !
Tuesday,  May 13, 2008

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. --- Friedrich Nietzsche We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
A guy goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice, a week ago...." "And you are worried she'll find it again ?"
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Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, "A lawyer!"
Thanks to Sue for this picture: Curious antelopes in the yard
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 'Darwin Award Wanna Be' Bicyclist in Fresno, California Does not know the meaning of sharing the road May 11, 2008 - Santa Cruz, California - Fresno Bee Thanks to Ross for this submission. Authorities say a protest by Santa Cruz cyclists turned hostile after a rider collided with a motorist during a ride to remind drivers to share the road. Santa Cruz police Lt. Rick Martinez said about 100 bicyclists swarmed the streets near the city's waterfront around 10 p.m. on Saturday night. Police said a 20-year-old Santa Cruz woman suffered minor injuries when she came out from between two parked cars on her bicycle and into the path of an oncoming car. Paramedics checking on the woman called in police as heated arguments erupted between cyclists and motorists and another driver's rear window was smashed. Three cyclists have died in collisions with vehicles on Santa Cruz streets in the past 10 months. -------------------- If they want to behave like ignorant asses and disregard the rules of traffic and common sense, they should get a parade permit and police escort. Merely having more gears on a bicycle than points on their IQ score is no excuse for giving reasonable bicyclers a bad name.
Three ministers are having lunch one day and complaining about sudden infestations of bats in their churches. "I've had those things in my loft and attic all summer," one says. "I've tried everything -- noise, spray, cats. Nothing seems to scare them away." "Yeah, me too," the second minister says. "I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated and they won't go away." "I had a problem with them, too," the third minister says. "But I baptized all mine and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one back since."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Chuck Re: Connect Win 98 to XP computer DEAR WEBBY, IS THERE A WAY I CAN HOOK UP A COMPUTER RUNNING WIN98 TO MY COMPUTER RUNNING XP2 AND TRANSFER FILES? THANK YOU, CJW Dear Chuck Yes, sure! Just network them with a router. There IS a way to directly connect them with a special cable, but that method requires serious reading of instructions. A simple router is probably the easiest, and since everybody uses them, any neighbor kid can help you with the set-up, if necessary. However, as long as Vista is not involve, it is quite simple and straightforward and nothing to worry about. Have FUN! DearWebby

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven, where St. Peter commends him for his innovative work with computers and shows him his reward -- a beautiful 10-room house with spacious grounds and a tennis court. Gates is pleased and spends many months enjoying the amenities of heaven. One day, however, he is enjoying one of heaven's many fine parks when he meets a man dressed in a fine tailored suit. "That is a nice suit, my friend," says Gates. "Where did you get it?" "Actually," the man replies, "I was given 100 of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill, a 500-acre estate, a golf course and three Rolls-Royces." "Were you a Pope or a doctor healing the sick?" Gates asks him. "No," says his new friend. "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic." Perturbed, Gates stalks off to find St. Peter. "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion and fine suits on the captain of the Titanic?" Gates demands. "I invented the Windows operating system. Why does he deserve better?" "Well," says St. Peter, "you have to realize that the Titanic only crashed once. And furthermore, when the Titanic crashed, people prayed. Every time Windows crashes, they curse."

Deeli's Kudos May 12, 2008 - Elwood, Indiana - AP Twenty-two years after graduating from high school, Angie Collins is now her former English teacher's favorite student. Collins, 40, donated her kidney this week to Darren Paquin, who teaches English at Elwood Community High School, where she graduated back in 1986. Collins' husband, Dean, said she offered Paquin one of her kidneys after she learned that Paquin was experiencing kidney failure. ''She knew she wanted to do it and she knew she was supposed to,'' he said. Collins, a mother of three, and Paquin underwent the transplant surgery Tuesday at Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis. ... eacher.htm

A patient mentions his concerns to his doctor during his annual physical. "Isn't there some kind of memory medicine you can give me?" he asks. "I'm getting terribly forgetful. I lose track of where I'm going or what I'm supposed to do when I get there. What should I do?" "Pay me in advance," the doctor, says.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Washing Delicate Crystal or China If you are washing delicate dishes in your sink, line the bottom of the sink with a bath towel before filling it. This will protect your crystal and china from getting chipped on the hard sink bottom. Never use your dishwasher, it is just too harsh and dishes shift around. Visit ThriftyFun For More Tips About Dishes By Clicking Here Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Desert wildflowers
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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