Dear Webby: What type of monitor should I buy? 

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Good Morning,  !
Wednesday,  May 14, 2008

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow. --- Evan Esar The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do. --- John Holt
John came from San Francisco to Depoe Bay and asked a native, "Say, is this really a healthful place?" "It sure is," the native replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?" "I was born here."
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A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the after life. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact. "Hello, Mary?" "Oh, Bill! Is that you?" "Yes, I have come back like we agreed." "What is it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I have lunch, then I have sex until supper, then sex till I sleep, then I start all over again." "Oh Bill, then you surely must be in heaven." "Hell, no! I'm a bone tired rabbit in Kentucky."
Thanks to Joe for this picture:
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the government of Myanmar (Burma) Aid workers might smarten up the population May 12, 2008 - Thilawa, Myanmar - UPI Rice exports were flowing through Myanmar's main port even as its military regime was restricting outside aid to cyclone victims, a report said Saturday. Four of the five berths at the port of Thilawa were empty recently, but sacks of rice bound for Bangladesh were being loaded for export, said drivers of at least 10 trucks waiting to deliver more rice to the docks. The decision by the military junta in Myanmar, formerly Burma, to bar foreign aid workers from helping distribute food and relief supplies in the wake of last week's cyclone has caused an outcry from the United Nations and humanitarian groups. However, that stance hasn't stopped the government from continuing to market its rice for export, despite a desperate need for food in the hard-hit Irrawaddy River delta. Outside aid is only accepted if it is delivered to the government, for distribution by the government.
More than anything, a young man from the city wanted to be a cowboy. Eventually he found a rancher who took pity on him and gave the lad a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said the man, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne Re: Moitor choice Dear Webby I need a new monitor. I need it mostly for graphics work and accounting, plus of course email. What would you suggest, LCD or old fashioned? Dianne Dear Dianne When there is graphics work involved, you need the old fashioned big, bulky CRT type. Almost all LCD monitors use a wide aspect ratio like 5 : 2, instead of the normal 4 : 3. Even though the wide aspect ratio seems to be popular with the fake-Rolex yuppie crowd, it is a real nuisance for actual work, and useless for graphics work. 99% of pictures are in a 4:3 format. Wide aspect ratio hides the bottom third. What you used to capture with one screen shot, takes two separate shots and stitching together while size reduced, if you have a wide aspect ratio LCD monitor. The same applies to working with maps. Get yourself the biggest CRT monitor that you can fit onto your desk. Also, keep in mind that the difference in cost for the next bigger size is considerably less than the cost of a new pair of eye glasses! Have FUN! DearWebby

Thanks to Linda for this story: I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

Deeli's Kudos May 12, 2008 - Alton, Illinois - AP Sandy Baumberger says she never expected to see her wallet again when it was stolen 35 years ago. But it has been found by a 30-year-old dental student who tracked her down and returned it. Eric Wherley says he found the wallet in a bathroom stall at school after a water pipe broke and loosened some ceiling tiles. The thief who stole the wallet apparently had hidden it in the drop ceiling. The dark-blue patent leather wallet contained Baumberger's driver's license, library cards and Social Security card. It also had her student ID, a grocery list, and cloth swatches from her bridesmaids' dresses. Baumberger says she and her husband are planning to give Wherley a gift for his efforts. ... 73-odd.htm

A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself; lets her. A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her; gets mad. A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad; says, "Now what are you mad about?" A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad, and he says, "Now what are mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Removing a Broken Window Apply pieces of masking tape to the window in a crisscross pattern on both sides of the window. Then gently tap around the outer edge of the window with a hammer until the glass breaks out. The tape should help keep the window from shattering but be sure to wear protective gloves. Visit ThriftyFun For More Repair Tips By Clicking Here Personally, I prefer to use duck tape. It will hold even large pieces of glass. After taping the window, I remove it and lay it flat on a patio table or driveway. Then I remove the strips of wood, plastic or metal that hold the glass, and turn the frame upside down. It all comes out as one piece with minimal mess. If it is an antique single pane window held with points and putty, use a hair dryer or heat gun to soften the old putty. If you don't soften the putty, you will probably have to use wood filler and sanding to get a reasonably smooth surface again. Under the putty you will find glazier's points, triangle shaped slivers of metal. Save every one of them, because they are getting hard to find! Then I can clean the frame, paint if necessary, and put the new sealed unit or piece of glass into it. Professional glaziers take it out and lay it flat whenever possible, and that works best for me too. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Thanks to Sue for this story: My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Above and below the sea
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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