Dear Webby, What about SP3? 



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Good Morning,  !
Thursday,  May 15, 2008

Tomorrow is Friday, time to wear something red to show your support for the troops!
The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. -Ė Victor Hugo
Thanks to Ross for this story: "Lotís wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, ..." when little Jason interrupted, "My mommy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
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A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!"
Thanks to Joe for this picture:
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kelly DeBrocky, of Mahopac, N.Y., Is she the type they call "Sheet-fer-brains" ? May 10, 2008 - Norwalk, Connecticut - AP A New York woman has filed a $100 claim against Norwalk saying a family outing to the Maritime Aquarium was ruined by dog feces. The woman claims her child's shoes, along with the entire outing, were ruined when her 1-year-old stepped in dog feces outside the Maritime Garage. City attorney M. Jeffry Spahr said the official response is that her claim is denied and in his words, "poop happens." Kelly DeBrocky, of Mahopac, N.Y., wants the city to reimburse her for $54 she spent replacing her toddler's ruined shoes and the expenses for parking and aquarium admission on April 5. http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/ ... ource=mypi
The preacher's 5-year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He never does?" she asked.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re: SP3 Dear Webby, I'm running XP; can't pay me enough to run Vista! I'm not one to download new special packs right away; I like to have them take the bugs out first. May I have your opinion of the new service pack 3? Thanks, you've taught me a lot by reading your Q&A; and you've answered many question to me as well. Carol Dear Carol Skip SP3. There are no new goodies in it anyway, just new bugs. Have FUN! DearWebby

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

Deeli's Kudos May 12, 2008 - Dallas, Texas - AP Jenny, recognized as the world's oldest living gorilla in captivity, celebrated her 55th birthday Thursday with a four-layer frozen fruit cake and banana leaf wrapped treats at her wooded home in the Dallas Zoo. The International Species Information System, which maintains records on animals at 700 institutions around the world, said Jenny is the oldest gorilla in its database. Gorillas in the wild normally would live to age 30 or 35. Health care and protection from predators has extended the lifespan in zoos. Of the roughly 360 gorillas in North American zoos, only four are over the age of 50. Jenny's keepers describe her as very sweet though a little bossy. Born in the wild of western central Africa in 1953, the exact date of her birth is unknown. Jenny lived with a family on the Cape Verde islands before the Fort Worth Zoo acquired her in 1957. http://www.happynews.com/news/592008/go ... n-cake.htm

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?" "Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters." "Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days." The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realising she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?" "Well miss, I just saw both of your garters." Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks." Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom. "Where do you think you are going?" she asks. "Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 080511@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chopsticks as Knitting Needles In a pinch, you can use bamboo chopsticks as knitting needles. Just sharpen the tips of the chopsticks in a pencil sharpener then dull them a little so they aren't too sharp. Ask for extras the next time you get take out. Visit ThriftyFun For More Craft Tips By Clicking Here http://www.thriftyfun.com/Craft%20Tips_357.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake's edge and yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up." Several minutes passed, but the boat didn't return. "Boat number 99," he again hollered, "return to the dock immediately or I'll have to charge you overtime." "Something is wrong here, boss," his assistant said. "We only have 75 boats. There is no number 99." The manager thought for a moment and then raised his mega- phone: "Boat number 66," he yelled. "Are you having trouble out there?"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Photo Essays
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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