Dear Webby, how do I delete update and patch UNinstall files? 

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Friday, May 16, 2008 Today is Friday, time to wear something red to show your support for the troops!
Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. --- John Maxwell
Thanks to Sandie for this story: It was a typically busy day at the bank. After a glance at the line of waiting customers, a harried looking man came up to the side counter and demanded, "What do I have to do to change the address on my account?" Without missing a beat, the clerk replied, "Move!"
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At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service." The act of doing things for other people. Then I heard the terms: Internal Revenue Service Postal Service Civil Service Service Stations Customer Service City/County Public Service And I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant. Then one day, I overheard two farmers talking and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull over to "service" a few of his cows. SHAZAM!! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service"agencies are doing to us.
Thanks to Walt for this picture of miniature horses: Attached are photo's of "REALLY' Small Horses. Equate their sizes to Great Dane = Full Grown Lab= Colts Walt
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Paul and Sharon Osborn, of Bletchley, England Sent in by Cookie Want my wife? Paul Osborn, 44, kicked out wife Sharon and advertised her on the internet auction site – with bids hitting £500,100. Take my wife ... Paul's eBay advert It offered his “cheating, lying, adulterous slag of a wife” to the highest bidder – and became an internet phenomenon, with users forwarding the link worldwide. But Sharon, 43, denies an affair and cops are now investigating Paul for harassment. MoT inspector Paul heard rumours in March that Network Rail manager Sharon, his wife of 24 years, was having an affair with a man at work. Dad-of-two Paul, of Bletchley, Bucks, said: “I started checking her emails and I realised the rumours were true. They had been discussing their sex life together and making plans for the future. “I was absolutely destroyed. I gathered all her stuff in bags and dumped it in the drive.” Paul said: “In a fit of rage I put the advert on eBay. I later took it off because I realised it wasn’t the right thing to do. I was just so angry.” Sharon and her colleague made a police complaint against Paul. Neither was available for comment last night. But the unnamed man’s wife said at home in Hemel Hempstead, Herts: “There’s nothing going on. They work in the same office, that’s all.” Thames Valley Police confirmed it was investigating, saying: “Statements have been taken from two people. ” ... 165282.ece
Thanks to Minka for this story: "Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son." "OK: He's most likely suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery." "How can you say all that without even meeting him?" "I thought you said he's 13?"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: David Re: Deleting Update files Dear Webby,After I download a program, I then install it. After that, I delete the installation program. I'm wondering, with all the update files I have from Micro$oft, I'm wondering if I can delete the installation programs from Windows Update and if so, how? Thanks, David Dear David 1. You do not want to delete/uninstall the Hotfixes, if they are still listed, they are most likely current and valid. If you delete the Hotfixes you also remove the protection/enhancement they provide. However you can safely delete the uninstall files. Once you are sure you will keep patch or hotfix, it is safe to delete the UNinstall files. 2. The files may be hidden, to show the file: Go to C:\WINDOWS Click the top TOOLS, click FOLDER OPTIONS, click VIEW Check the radio button. "Show hidden files and folders" Click OK and you should now see more files. 3. Go to C:\WINDOWS and delete "$NTServicePackUinistall$" about 240 mb. Then go to Add/Remove Programs. Click "Service Pack 1"(2), there will be an error since you just deleted the file. Click YES to delete the shortcut. 4. Use similar procedure to delete uninstall files for the updates. The updates will be in this format "$NTUninstall********" Do NOT delete "$hf_mig$" 5. The file "C:\Windows\SoftwareDistribution\Download" may also be safely deleted. Depending on installation method of the service Pack, this file may not be present. 6. Do NOT delete "C:\Windows\ServicePackFiles". That file may be needed if you have problems later and sometimes for hardware installations. It is used by Windows File Protection as a backup for system files. You can burn this file to CD, or compress the file, but if space is that important, a larger or second hard drive is the better fix. Have FUN! DearWebby

A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions: what were the symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc.. Suddenly, she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet - *I* don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking." She smugly added, "Why can't you?" The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put to sleep."

Deeli's Kudos May 15, 2008 - Dearborn, Michigan - AP A Girl Scout sold 17,328 boxes of the group's signature cookies this year by setting up shop on a street corner, shattering her troop's old mark and probably setting a national record. Jennifer Sharpe, a 15-year-old from Dearborn, plans to travel to Europe with her troop with the proceeds from her feat. ''It's always been one of those goals I wanted to accomplish,'' Sharpe said Wednesday. The two bakeries that make the cookies said Sharpe sold more than anyone this year, according to Dianne Thomas, spokeswoman for the Girl Scouts of Metro Detroit. Michelle Tompkins, spokeswoman for the New York-based national organization, called the figure ''amazing.'' Sharpe sold cookies every day on a street corner with help from her mother and troop leader, Pam Sharpe. Jennifer Sharpe's Troop 813 raised about $21,000 in cookie sales, paying for its 10-day trip to Europe this winter. ... ookies.htm

While sports fishing off Melbourne Beach, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any 'gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the 'gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beach bum said. "The sharks got 'em."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Breaking in a Baseball Glove The best way to break in a baseball glove is to use it. To speed up the process, apply a dab of shaving cream to the center of the glove and then put a baseball in the pocket. Secure the glove closed by tying a shoelace around the glove and put it between your mattresses overnight. Visit ThriftyFun For More Recreation Tips By Clicking Here Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my son is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him a big party."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: doctor Fish
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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