Dear Webby, how do I find the IP number of a card sender? 

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It's Tuesday,  May 20, 2008

You canít talk your way out of what youíve behaved yourself into. --- Stephen Covey Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.... --- Carl Zwanzig
Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?" Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?" There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards." Oh, that's because most MEN who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."
Thanks to my dad for this picture: Queen of the night This one bloomed tonight.
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the City of Brighton, Michigan Silly Nitpickers May 19, 2008 - Brighton, Michigan - UPI A Michigan doctor says he found it funny the city of Brighton sent him a "final notice and demand of payment" for 51 cents in property taxes. Dr. Phil Kazanji said he chuckled at a notice from the city that said legal action would be taken against him if he didn't fork over 51 cents in delinquent taxes. Kazanji added that the city actually lost money by spending $5.21 to mail the certified letter. "This is the most ridiculous thing a government agency could do," Kazanji told the Livingston County Daily Press & Argus. "No matter how small, we can't ignore it or waive it," city finance director Dave Gajda said. "It doesn't matter how much we spend to collect delinquent taxes, we have to collect it." Copyright 2008 by United Press International ____________________________ Will somebody please 'splain to the dolts how you forward amounts under $10 to the next billing period?
A man's house is on fire. No help is in sight so he takes matters into his own hands. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her ouside. Then his wife. Then the dog. Then the cat. Then he goes back in "3 more times" without bringing out anybody or anything. So a bystander is curious and asks him, "Why do you keep going back into your burning house and not coming out with anything?" The man replies, "I'm turning over my mother in law."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Stacy Re: IP numbers of postcard senders Dear Webby, To Whom It May Concern: Please advise who I need to send a preservation letter to in order to secure the sender IP address of the following Internet Greeting cards that were sent from .......... Detective Stacy H........ Domestic Violence Unit City of........ Dear Stacy Just reveal the header of the pick-up notice. You will see a line starting with X-STAMP. That line gives you all the gory details that you need. The date and time is in EST. It even tells you what kind of browser and what version the perp used. We invented and instituted that X-Stamp in 1995 to help people like you to find and stop abusers. Have FUN! DearWebby

When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger.

Deeli's Kudos May 14, 2008 - Herndon, Virginia - AP K12 Inc., ( the nation's leading provider of K-12 online school programs, is mobilizing thousands of kids across the country to join in the fight against childhood cancer. On Saturday, May 31 and Sunday June 1, 2008 thousands of K12 parents, kids and teachers will host lemonade stands in their neighborhoods to raise money for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation, a leading national charity that has raised over $19 million for pediatric cancer research. The inspiration for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation ( began in July 2000 when a four-year-old c ancer patient named Alexandra "Alex" Scott announced she was holding a lemonade stand to raise money to help her doctors find a cure for kids suffering with cancer. For the next four years Alex held lemonade stands to raise money for childhood cancer research. On August 1, 2004, Alex died peacefully at the age of eight, but not before raising more than one million dollars. Her legacy continues today through Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation. The Foundation will host its own national weekend entitled Lemonade Days, June 6-8, when an estimated 10,000 volunteers will host over 2,000 Alex's Lemonade Stands around the nation. ... dation.htm

"Johnny," said his teacher, "if coal is selling at $6 a ton and you pay your dealer $24, how many tons will he bring you?" "A little over three tons, ma'am," said Johnny. "Why, Johnny, that isn't right," said the teacher. "No, ma'am, I know it isn't," said Johnny, "but they all do it."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Sap on Your Car The harder the sap gets, the tougher it is to remove and the more likely it is to scratch your car's finish. Make a paste with a mild abrasive like baking soda and apply to the sap, then rub it with a rag until the sap is removed. Other products you can try are mayonnaise or WD-40. Visit ThriftyFun For More Cleaning Tips By Clicking Here Peanut butter works fine too DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret." "I don't know about that," answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one." "You'll let it out some day," the man insisted. "I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Van der Weide Photo Gallery
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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