Deaar Webby: Free Avira Anti Virus program 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  May 27, 2008

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. --- Peter F. Drucker
"I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!" "He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him." The mother stated emphatically, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me." The boy quickly replied, "What good would that have done? My aim is much better than yours."
Thanks to Martin for this picture:
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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to David Wigton, 57 and Richard Michael Polk, 50, of Phoenix, AZ It is going to be a very hot summer for these two guys is Sherriff Joe Arpao jail. May 22, 2008 - Phoenix, Maricopa County, Arizona - UPI A veteran Phoenix police officer and an employee of Arizona Child Protective Services have been charged with sex crimes involving children. David Wigton, 57, a former supervisor with the state agency, was indicted Tuesday on charges that include having sex with a 4-year-old girl. He was also charged with looking at pornography in the presence of minors. Richard Michael Polk, 50, who recently retired after 26 years with the Phoenix Police Department, was charged with 10 counts of sexual exploitation of a minor. The charge is the one used for possession of child pornography, the Republic said. The indictments were brought by the Maricopa County, Ariz., Attorney's Office. Copyright 2008 by United Press International
An African village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great white hunter, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never showed up. Finally, he told the tribal chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter lying there, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. "What happened, bwana? Where is the lion? asked the chief. "Forget the damn lion !" he howled. "Which of you Idiots let the bull loose?"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Robert Re: Avira Anti-Virus Dear Webby, I thank You and the Tech. Support for the great Humor Letter. If anyone has searched for Humor and etc on the internet they know that the Humor Letter out ranks all. I also used AVG Free for a few years but have used Free Avira Anti-virus for the past two years. I also recommend Avira. If anyone is interested, click on the link. The link maybe in German but can be translated in English at the right top of page. Take Care Robert Hi Robert As long as you have a separate FireWall, Avira looks like it will do the job nicely. Thanks, Robert! Have FUN! DearWebby

After years of his wife's pleading, the rich, good old boy finally went with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand. He said, "Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!" The Preacher replied, "Oh!! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house." "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself. It was such a damn good sermon, sir!" "PLEASE, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!" "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, I put $5,000.00 in that there collection box." "HOT DAMN, that's mighty generous !"

Deeli's Kudos May 23, 2008 - Omaha, Nebraska - UPI A knife to the throat was a good thing for an Omaha man who performed a tracheotomy on himself, a move his doctor says wasn't such a bad idea. Steve Wilder, 55, performed the do-it-yourself operation after he awoke unable to breathe. Wilder, concerned about whether the rescue squad would reach him in time, raced to his kitchen, found a steak knife, then made a slit through his throat so air could pass through his windpipe unobstructed. It's not like the 55-year-old truck driver hadn't done the procedure before. He did the same thing in 2006 when he couldn't breathe. "I did what I did the first time. I took a knife and opened it up," Wilder said. "I did it to save my life." The problem began after Wilder underwent radiation treatment for throat cancer four years ago. His doctor, Paul Sherrerd, has placed a permanent tube in Wilder's throat now to help him breathe when needed. "As crazy as it sounds," Sherrerd said of Wilder's emergency operation, "it probably wasn't the craziest thing to do." Copyright 2008 by United Press International

The future father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Avoid Bouncing Checks Bouncing checks almost always ends up being a lot more costly than sending in a late payment. Checks clear almost immediately these days, so track your spending closely. Always keep a buffer in your account and sign up for overdraft protection with your bank. Visit ThriftyFun For More Banking Tips By Clicking Here ... 2_447.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The old gentlemen was aging more rapidly than he wanted. "Your gout is getting worse." said the doctor. "I recommend that you give up smoking, drinking and sex for a while." "WHAT!" said the man. "Just so's I can walk a little better? If it wasn't for those things I wouldn't get out of my rocker in the first place !"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Bruno's Art &Sculpture Garden (Australia)
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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