Dear Webby, how do I open swf files? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  July 8, 2008

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty. --- Cecil Baxter I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. --- Rodney Dangerfield
Thanks to Jai for this story: An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy." "Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home." "That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!" Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. "Well, dear, what exactly did he say?" "He said the reflector is broken." "I can fix that in two minutes. What else?" "I'm not sure, Jacob. . . something about the emergency brake."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Lily of the Nile
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lynne Rice, 74, of Norwalk, California Woman drives car into store NORWALK, Calif. (UPI) -- An elderly California woman was arrested after she allegedly drove her car into the windows of a convenience store and then tried to buy beer, police said. Lynne Rice, 74, is accused of driving her 1988 Cadillac into the front windows of Joe's Food Mart, said Lt. Jenny Ha of the Norwalk Sheriff's Station. Officials said damages from the Sunday crash total about $8,000. The store owner said after the 112-pound woman crashed into the store she got out of the car and tried to buy a six-pack of Bud. Rice allegedly shoved the cashier when he refused to make the sale, the Long Beach (Calif.) Press-Telegram reported. Ha said no injuries were reported in the incident, but Rice received medical treatment for an existing health problem. Rice was released Sunday from the Norwalk Sheriff's Station on $15,000 bail after being arrested on suspicion of drunken driving, the newspaper said. Copyright 2008 by United Press International
Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school. So they went to the nearest church. But only the janitor was there. One said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?" "Sure," said the janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "Now, go out and play." When they got outside, dripping wet, one of them asked, "What religion do you think we are?" The oldest one said, "We're not Catholic, because they pour the water on you. We're not Baptist because they dunk all of you in it. We're not Methodist because they just sprinkle you." The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?" "Yes. Why, what do you think that means?" "That means we're 'piscopalians."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tom Re: How do I open swf files? Dear Webby: First let me say I enjoy your newsletter and look for it every day. I have a question " when I get links in my email with a swf ending it gives me a blank page what can I do to get these to open so I can see them. Thanks for any help you can give me. Have a Blessed Day Tom Dear Tom swf files are Flash files. You need a Flash reader like for example Adobe reader http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/acrrwhatsnew.html or any of the flash readers that you see at http://www.google.com/search?hl=en& ... tnG=Search Have FUN! Dear Webby

After the Fourth of July the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free." One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said, "I'm not free. I'm four."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 080701@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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The company I work for offers tours through the historic district of Annapolis, Maryland, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Felix, one of our guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Felix in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Great WWII Aircraft Pix
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com
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