Dear Webby: Anti Virus Program 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  July 13, 2008

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. --- Fran Lebowitz
"Dana," asked Kim thoughtfully one day, "what would you do if you caught your husband with another woman?" "Another woman with MY husband?" Dana thought it over. "Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from."
Thanks to Jai for this picture: Bee on an Azalea
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Louie Herrera of Los Angeles Drunk Intruder LOS ANGELES (UPI) -- A 71-year-old Los Angeles woman said she was able to stop an attacker in her home from assaulting her daughter by offering him beer. Linda Dodson, 45, said a large man entered her room and attacked her at 3:37 a.m. Monday while her mother was sleeping in the next room, KTLA-TV, Los Angeles, reported. "He had his big hands ... on my throat, my mouth and my nose and I'm flopping ... when he released his hand for a second, I just let out t his blood-scorching scream," Dodson said. Dodson's mother said she came into her daughter's room to investigate the scream and jumped onto the attacker's back. However, she said she decided to switch tactics after the attacker threw her against a wall and grabbed her face so hard the lenses popped out of her glasses. "I just looked at him because I could tell he had been drinking and I said, ' I don't know about you, but I could use a beer, how about you?'" she said. "And he said yes." The mother and daughter took the suspect into their living room and gave him a beer, which seemed to calm him. Linda Dodson said she phoned 911 after excusing herself to go to the bathroom and police arrived soon after. Louie Herrera, a convicted child molester, was arrested on suspicion of residential burglary, false imprisonment, and resisting arrest. Copyright 2008 by United Press International
A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that he had been stealing building supplies for years from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you take?" his priest asked. "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake." "This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" "No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But, if you got the blueprint, I can get the lumber."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Patti Re: What kind of Antivirus? Dear Webby, I finally got my modem, and am now flying instead of crawling. I need to pick your brain again. Can you recommend a good virus protector? Earthlink, has the latest Norton, that I can try free for 30 days, and then pay $8-9. month after that. Is Norton a good choice, or do you know of a better one. My Grandkids use my pc, and I can't be in the room with them every min. and while they may be computer savy, the two youngest are to quick to click on things they shouldn't. I would greatly appreciate any advice you you can send me. Take care and be happy. Patti I use McAfee Virus Scan and Firewall and have used it for over 20 years. It's around $30 a year. Norton used to be pretty good, but nowadays I would not use it for a business machine. It does some weird stuff and is difficult to remove cleanly. Have FUN! Dear Webby

One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found. John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, John stuck the hanger under his seat. With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have one."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Keeping Cool on Hot Days When it's really hot and you don't have air conditioning, try putting together this frugal "swamp cooler". Fill a bowl up with cool water and set it in front of a fan so the fan blows air over the top of the water. Toss some ice cubes in the water occasionally to help keep it cool. Visit ThriftyFun For More Cooling Tips By Clicking Here ... 4_582.html Actually, it is better if you skip the ice cubes. The most cooling happens from evaporating the water, from making it change it's state from liquid to vapor. Cooling the water hinders that. The more water you evaporate, the more you cool the house. A wet curtain on the window, where the wind blows IN, can cool your place as fast as any air conditioning, if you have a good breeze blowing through. It takes only 1 calorie to warm 1 gram of water 1 degree Celsius, but it takes 450 calories to make it change it's state from liquid to vapor. If the water is warm and if the surface area is large, more evaporation happens, but it still takes 450 calories per gram of water to make it happen. A fuzzy, loose weave curtain or an old afghan, with very warm water on it, and a good breeze of dry air, will cause the most cooling. However, if it is already humid, forget it. Evaporative cooling needs dry air to be effective. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!" And the young farmer said, "Well, he's under the load of hay."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Working Replica of the Ark
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
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