Dear Webby: How do I clean out miscellaneous malware? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  July 14, 2008

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. --- Mark Twain No man ever listened himself out of a job. --- Calvin Coolidge
An eighty year-old lady wins the lottery. Not wanting her to die of shock upon learning this, her children consult her doctor on how to break the news. The doctor comes over to the lady's house. "What would you do if you won ten million dollars?" he asks her. The lady replies, "Why, since you've been such a good doctor to me, I would give half of it to you." The doctor immediately died of shock.
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Barkley Sound, BC
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Steven Sprague, 48, of West Palm Beach, Fla. $9,500 Verizon bill WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (UPI) -- A West Palm Beach, Fla., man is suing Verizon Wireless in state court after his family incurred a $9,500 wireless Internet bill in just 11 days. Steven Sprague, 48, said he was given a free wireless card for his laptop computer when he re-upped his two-year contract with Verizon and the suit claims he was told by a sales agent that the unlimited wireless card usage from his previous plan would carry over, the Palm Beach (Fla.) Post reported. However, the card was broken by Sprague's wife after only 11 days of use by the couple and their three children, ages 16, 12 and 8. Nonetheless, Sprague said, his bill for the month was nearly $9,500. "I was ticked off at her for breaking the card, but she was doing me the biggest favor in the world," he said. "At least it stopped there." Sprague said he took the bill to the Circuit City kiosk where he re-upped his contract and found the plan was not unlimited, but instead included a 49-cent surcharge for each megabyte over 5 gigabytes of monthly use. "This case is either the classic bait-and-switch situation or, worst case, just a blatant attempt to get people in a contract where they don't know what they are getting into," said Sprague's lawyer, Philip Valente Jr. ------------ $9,500 is by no means the biggest bill for wireless abuse, and there has been plenty of publicity about it over the last few years. I realize that Verizon is not a prime choice of ISP, mainly because of their email problems, but 25 Gigabytes in 11 days is more file transfer, than a lot of very popular web sites do. Since fanatic abuse like that takes away capacity, that otherwise 250 ordinary clients could use, I can understand that Verizon has to draw a line somewhere and take a stand. If Sprague wants more than 5 GB / month, he can sign up for a business account. Whining and sniveling that a cheap 5 GB account has a per MB charge above 5 GB won't get him anything except lawyer bills.
In July, the Indians asked their Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replied that the winter will be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.Being a good leader, he then went to a phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter is indeed going to be very cold." So the Chief went back to encourage his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, and asked again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." The Chief went back to his people and ordered them to go out and bring back every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that this winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely" the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Eddie Re:Cleaning out miscellaneous malware Hi Mr Webby; Time to pick your brain now...... I have came across a couple of friends that has a computer problem with the same type of problem..... What is happening here is that have loaded up their pc with alot of adware & spyware .... and possible malware junk. Their pc's are freezing up on them so bad that I can not get in there to even clean up their mess..... So now here is the big question for you..... ! HOW CAN I LOCATE AND GET RID OF ALL OF THIS MESS THAT THEY HAVE CREATED? Sorry for the caps.......but this has really bothered me quite some. Have a great day..... Eddie Dear Eddie Formatting always works. That will teach the silly yahoos. Upload their produced and collected data (spreadsheets, docs, pictures and music) to the net or to a DVD, write down the serial numbers of all bought and paid for software, thenFormat and re-install Windows. Download the SP3 blocker and the IE7 blocker from my toolbox, install a decent Anti-Virus and firewall, Spybot-Search&Destroy and Crap Cleaner. Re-install the legitimate software, without any flaky registry screwers and speeder upper BS, download the produced data, and it's done. The machine will be as fast as the day they bought it. Anything else will just lead to ulcers and wasted time. Have FUN! Dear Webby

One day a man called the church office and said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" The secretary thought she heard what he said, but to be sure, she asked, "I'm sorry, who?" The man said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" She said, "Well, if you mean the pastor, then you may refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but you may certainly not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!" The man on the phone said, "Well, I was planning to donate ten thousand dollars to the church's building fund . . ." The secretary quickly responded, "Hang on, I think the old pig just waddled in!"

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Daily tip from The Sun and Antique Furniture Sunlight makes dark wood lighter and light wood darker. Prevent uneven discoloration of antique furniture by keeping it away from windows that receive direct sunlight. Once a piece of furniture has changed color, you may need to completely refinish the piece to restore it. Visit ThriftyFun For More Furniture Care Tips By Clicking Here ... 4_591.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A customer in a bakery was observed carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. A clerk approached him and asked, "What would you like?" He answered, "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish." Then with a sigh he added, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin."

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
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