Dear Webby: Getting a computer with XP factory installed 

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It's Tuesday,  July 22, 2008

"I got a good tip from my stockbroker the other day. He said, 'For only 39 cents, I can super size those fries for you.'" --- Jay Leno
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
Thanks to Deelie for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Elizabeth Mateo of Camden, NJ No sense of humor, just greed CAMDEN, N.J. (UPI) -- A Camden County, N.J., woman is suing her orthopedic surgeon after he rubbed a temporary tattoo onto her body while she was unconscious. Elizabeth Mateo claims in her suit that she did not realize until the morning after the surgery that the surgeon, Steven Kirshner, had left a temporary tattoo of a rose on her abdomen while she was under anesthesia, the Philadelphia Enquirer reported Wednesday. "She was extremely emotionally upset by it," said attorney Gregg Shivers, who filed the suit on Mateo's behalf in Camden County Superior Court. The suit seeks punitive and compensatory damages from Kirshner. The doctor admitted to placing the tattoo on Mateo but he denied any ill intent, the newspaper reported. He said he often rubs temporary tattoos on patients as a means of helping to raise their spirits after a stressful operation. "What's offensive about this complaint is that it suggests something he did was intended to be prurient, and nothing could be further from the truth," said Kirshner's lawyer, Robert Agre. "It was intended just to make the patient feel better." Copyright 2008 by United Press International
"I was married 3 times" explained the woman to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 husbands died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd hubby died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame." said her friend , "How did it happen?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Irene Re: Pre-installed XP Dear Webby I have a few questions about this. 1) Why are businesses allowed to get XP pre-installed, but private people are not? 2) Why do I have to buy Vista Business to get XP rights, even if the computer can't handle Vista Business? 3) Does Microsoft check if I have a legitimate business, if I claim I do, when I buy a computer? Irene Dear Irene 1) If a business doesn't want to increase their work force by 18% to cope with Vista, they will switch to Linux, if M$ does not let them have XP. Any business with 25 or more computers usually has at least one employee, who is comfortable with Linux, and who can make a company specific master CD for quick and easy set-up. Naturally, once they have upgraded to Linux, no company will ever go back to Windows, and Microsoft has lost them for good. So Microsoft reluctantly lets them buy Vista Ultimate or Vista Business, even though the machines they buy, can't handle that, but they throw in the XP license. YOU, and people like you, don't usually have an in-house Linux fan to help them get started, so Microsoft figures they got you by the short and curly hairs, and they don't allow you to get XP. Hitler, ahem, Balmer has spoken, and you better like the Emperor's new clothes! 2) The reason for having to pay for Vista Ultimate or Vista Business, even if the computer you are buying, can't handle that, is to punish you for not liking the Emperor's new clothes. There is no technical reason for it, just pure hateful vindictiveness by the Emperor. 3) The computer makers are supposed to sell Vista Business only to businesses who buy 25 or more machines per year, the businesses, who would tell Microsoft to stuff Windows where the sun don't shine, if they don't get an XP installation included. Microsoft brags about so many Vista's sold, even though the Vista CDs are just used to replace the AOL CD beer coasters in the IT department. Those ARE getting to be quite scratched up, ya know! When Dell, or Toshiba or Sony, or whoever you buy a computer from, asks you if you are a business and will buy 25 computers in a year, everybody just tells them: "Oh, yes, I need those Vista CD's for beer coasters! I want a full set! But not tonight, I have a headache from all this BS." You don't have to buy the other 25 right away, and if the economy slides left and your doily knitting business doesn't expand as planned, they are not going to hunt you down and demand the XP CD back. In summary, if you want to buy a computer with XP pre-installed at the factory, don't go to the HOME computers department, go to the BUSINESS department at Dell, HP, Toshiba (don't go to their front entrance, use this secret back door: ), Fujitsu or Lenovo. The business departments of those companies will sell you computers with XP pre-installed at the factory, and dumpster-ware on a beer coaster. (Don't waste time with Gateway, Acer and Asus. They act like they were Microsoft owned and operated.) Be aware that the punishment for not liking the Emperor's new clothes is paying for Vista Business, even if you have absolutely no desire or plan to ever use it. It is strictly a fine, or sleazy extortion, if you want to call it that. By the way, the XP CDs from old klunkers often work quite fine in new machines. And also keep in mind that klunkers at yard sales might just be constipated with registry optimizers and speeder-upper utilities, and will work just fine after a format and re-install. Have FUN! DearWebby

At the start of a meeting of world religious leaders, a secretary rushed in shouting. "The building is on fire" The Methodists gathered in a corner and prayed The Baptists cried "Where is the water?" The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings The Lutherans posted a fire notice on the door The Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage The Jews sprinted to the parking lot to beat the rush. The Congregationalists shouted "Every man for himself!" The Fundamentalists proclaimed "It's the vengeance of God" The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no fire. The Unitarians proclaimed the fire had no power over them. The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report. The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out. The Mormons arrived late for the meeting and missed the fire completely.

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Daily tip from Mixing Meatloaf and Other Sticky Things When mixing meat loaf or patting marshmallow candy into a pan, kneading pizza dough etc., I first spray my hands with non-stick cooking spray. It keeps the food from sticking and washes off easily with soap and water. Visit ThriftyFun For Helpful Food Tips By Clicking Here ... 6_948.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him into the doctor's waiting room. A woman in the office viewed the scene in sympathy. "Arthritis with complications?" she asked. The wife shook her head, "Noooo....Do-it-yourself," she explained, "with concrete blocks."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: 40 years of Hotwheels
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
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