Zoom the font size for best readability! Good Morning, ! It's Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. --- Benjamin Franklin To be great is to be misunderstood. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and shouted: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What you must realize, is that when I say "Good Night," what I really mean is "Shut the @#$% up!!!" The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a small voice could be heard from somewhere in the far back of the dark room: "Good Night, Sergeant"
Thanks to Toni from freedomfromwork.com for this picture of a frog cooling on off on her air conditioner. Toni lives in the hot part of Florida
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bonita Springs, Floriduh police Sent in by Deeli Pettiest waste of taxpayers money BONITA SPRINGS, Fla. (UPI) -- A Florida man is facing criminal charges after he was arrested for allegedly stealing 42 cents from a water fountain in a shopping center, police said. Laslo Mujzer, 43, of Bonita Springs, Fla., was taken into police custody and charged with petty theft after a shopper at the Coastland Center mall reported him Monday for allegedly taking change from an outdoor fountain, police said. Mujzer was held until police arrived at took him to the Collier County jail, where he was held on a $500 bond, police records indicate. Naples police Capt. John Adams told the Naples (Fla.) News the money in the fountain was intended for the Habitat for Humanity of Collier County. "He shouldn't be taking change out of the mall fountain. It's not found money. It's money that's destined for charity," Adams said. Copyright 2008 by United Press International
Deeli sent me a picture of a red eyed bird, hoping that one of you can identify it.
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms.
In case you missed the link yesterday: Step By Step PC Tune-Up From the Tech Support Pits: From: Thomas Re: Weather Link Webby, You ask a question on the left side of your email, What links would you like to see here. Would it be possible to have the current weather come up for every subscriber, no matter what there location. I'm thinking that once the subscribers zip code was entered it would be no problem. Thomas Dear Thomas I have not found any weather site that will work in all areas where subscribers live. Just go to your favorite weather site, set your preferences, refresh, then the drag the little icon from the left of the address bar onto an empty spot on your desktop. When you hit that icon, it will bring up your weather with all your preferences, just like you had them. Have FUN! DearWebby
One day during cooking class, our teacher, Mrs. Pritchard, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Don't forget to use wooden spoons." As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Pritchard about my theory. "Why wooden spoons?" I asked. "Because," she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to all you morons banging your metal spoons against metal pots, I'll go nuts!".
The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at email@example.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Auto Cool Review Auto Cool is a solar powered fan that has been heavily marketed on TV throughout the summer. They advertise that it keep your car cool when it is parked in the hot sun. The problem is, it doesn't work. Many reviewers of this product actually state it makes your car hotter. Don't throw your money away. To See Auto Cool Reviews On ThriftyFun, click here http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf61299237.tip.html For passive shielding get some cheap space blankets from a camping store or off the web for about $2.50 a piece. Here is a link to one of countless sources: http://snipurl.com/36x82 Google for a local source to avoid shipping charges. It is a reflective blanket about 5' x 7' and weighs 2 ounces. It reflects ALL of the sun if you use it as a fly and not quite touching the car. I have used them since the 60's and they are indeed amazing. Don't poke holes into them and don't put grommets into them. Stick some duck tape onto the corners so that it sticks out, and put gromets into those duck tape ears. Then you can secure it with thin, lightweight bungee cords. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary. On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry. When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. "Pull down your pants," whispered the pastor. "Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Extreme Pets: The fishing catIf you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blogIf you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!Webby.com
For more ezines, check the Ezine Directory:
[ view entry ] ( 217 views ) | permalink | print article | ( 3 / 1405 )