Dear Webby, is Open Office better? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  July 31, 2008

Tomorrow is Friday, time to wear something red
to show your support for the troops!

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. --- C. S. Lewis No one gossips about other people's secret virtues. --- Bertrand Russell
A old man stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and leaves three pennies for a tip. As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself, "You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves." The old man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. "Oh, really? Tell me, what does my tip say?" "Well, this penny tells me you're a thrifty man." Barely able to conceal his pride, the man utters, "Hmm, true enough." "And this penny, it tells me you're a bachelor." Surprised at her perception, he says, "Well, that's true, too." "And the third penny tells me that your father was also a bachelor."
Thanks to Walter, the stonecarver, for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Villagers of Lunt, England Lunt villagers can't cope with graffiti A campaign has been launched in the historic village of Lunt to change its name because vandals keep defacing road signs. The not-so-witty pranksters constantly change the village's name to an extremely rude swear word, reports the Daily Telegraph. However, the proposal is dividing villagers in the Merseyside community who say they should not have to give up a name that has been around since the 13th century. Martyn Ball, a retired police officer and prospective Conservative councillor, is urging residents to support the move because he is fed up with the graffiti which greets visitors to the village. He said: "We are all painfully aware of the repeated times our village sign is defaced by mindless yobs who change the L to a C. "Drive in every day and you see a very offensive word." Dr Ball has suggested Launt as an alternative name, which he says would be pronounced the same. However, others in the village say the vandals should not be allowed to ruin their heritage. Steward Dobson, 84, a parish councillor, said: "This village is very, very old and people don't want the name changed." David Roughley, whose family has farmed in Lunt since 1851, added: "At the end of the day we live in Lunt and we don't want to change because of a few yobs. It is the vandals who should change, not the village." ------------ Cameras, proximity detector activated dye packs, motion detector activated water sprayers, or even something as simple as a trip-wire activated water pistol filled with dye and skunk oil has not occurred to the simple folks there.
Two husbands, Greg and Paul, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. Then Greg said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Paul, "How do you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Greg. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'"
Farmer: On a typical day I have to get up at six in the morning, then I work for five hours, then I take out a few minutes for lunch, then I work another five hours... City Man: With all that work, what do you grow? Farmer: Tired.
Still available! Step By Step PC Tune-Up From the Tech Support Pits: From: Susan Re: Is Open Office OK for business? Dear Webby I tried to get my brother's old Microsoft Office after he left college, to use in my business. He told me to use Open Office, and that MS Office was only used in college "because the shiny shoes get bribed and/or were scared of having to learn someting new." He said Open Office was not only free, but actually better than MS Office. Is that true? Susan Dear Susan Yes, that is indeed true. Open Office has more features that are appreciated daily in the business world, for example saving invoices or quotes or flyers as PDF files, and it can save files not only in the Open Standard format, but even in Word perfect or Microsoft format. If both cost the same, I would buy Open Office. Since Open Office is free, and always will be, the choice is quite clear. Have FUN! DearWebby

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," so she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is still insulted so she refuses to let him up again. Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm twelve blocks past my stop already."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Get the Most From Your Doctor's Visit Before visiting the doctor, make sure to write down any questions you have so that you don't forget to ask them. Doctors are usually in a hurry so don't let them rush you and make sure all your questions are answered before he/she rushes off to the next patient. Visit ThriftyFun For More Health Advice By Clicking Here ... _1228.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

An old man limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!" The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Sir, how old are you?" "I'm 98," the man announced proudly. The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again. Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You are almost one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?" The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it doesn't hurt!"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: National Naval Aviation Museum
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
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