Dear Webby: Mouse problem 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  August 5, 2008

Ability will never catch up with the demand for it. --- Malcolm Forbes
The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mister, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied, "You're right. I'm sorry it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years".
Thanks to Dad for this picture: This one bloomed today
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Minneapolis, MN police chief Sent in by Judy Rewards for raiding wrong house Here is another example of "police doing wrong" and being rewarded for it. Last Dec. an informant gave the wrong address to the Minneapolis police department. If they had looked up the address in the reverse phone directory they would have found that the last name of the owner of the house was not who they were looking for, or even the correct race, but they broke into the house any way. The owner thought it was a burglar so he fired his gun, the police returned the fire. The police department had a ceremony for the police involved and gave each a reward for their botched entry. Nobody has been disciplined for not checking the address and raiding the wrong house.
A young couple took their three-year-old son to doctor Cohen. With some hesitation, they explained that, although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him bagels with cream cheese. That should solve the problem." The next morning, when ! the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a huge stack of warm bagels and cream cheese in the middle of the table. "Gee, mom," the boy exclaimed. "For me?" "Just take two," his mother replied. "The rest are for your father."
One day a co-worker told my friend, Stan, that she was going home early because she didn't feel well. Since Stan was just getting over something himself, he wished her well and said he hoped it wasn't something he had given her. A fellow worker piped up, "I sure hope not. She has morning sickness."
Still available! Step By Step PC Tune-Up From the Tech Support Pits: From: Express Empress Re: Mouse problem Good Morning Dear Webby, this is the Express Empress. Yesterday MailWasher Pro advised me that it had processed more than 15,000 emails in two weeks. Then my mouse went manic. This is what I get... Please advise Cheers EE Dear EE Be careful not to set your mail on fire! Have FUN! DearWebby

A 16-year-old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini. Very proud, she came home and put it on. She then showed her mother how she looked in it. "What do you think mom?" she asked. Her mother replied, "If I wore that when I was your age, you would be 5 years older."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Flip Your Mattress Get into the habit of flipping and rotating your mattress once a month. This will prevent one side from being worn down more than another. Futon mattresses should also be folded, flipped and rotated regularly. Note, some mattresses aren't designed to be flipped, but can still be rotated. Visit ThriftyFun for more Frugal Living Tips Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Our business professor was lecturing about different ways to bill customers. He asked, "Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?" One student piped up, "Tuition!"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Letrero
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
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