Dear Webby: Power Point Problems 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  August 11, 2008

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. --- Fran Lebowitz Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old did you say you are?" "I am seventy-eight," the man said proudly. "Seventy-eight!" the doctor exclaimed. "That's great. You look like a sixty year old. How do you stay so healthy?" The old man explained, "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married. Whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. And the old man said, "I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."
This restaraunt owner in China used an online translation site to translate the name of his shop for the Olympics.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to an Israeli couple currently in Paris 'Don't we have five children?' Staff at an airport in Israel have found a three-year-old girl alone in a duty-free shop after her parents accidentally took a plane without her. The parents boarded the flight to Paris from Ben Gurion Airport with four of their five children, reports the BBC. The parents did not realise their mistake until the captain of the plane informed them after take-off, according to police. The girl was put on the next flight to Paris. The parents will be questioned when they return to Israel. "It is usual that travellers in a rush forget their luggage but not a child. This never happens," a police official said.
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replied, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," said the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard said, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
I stopped at the local Burger King for a cold drink and was reading the menu over the counter. I noticed a sign to the side that stated "Picture Menu Available". I had to ask the clerk what it was for and she told me that they had a number of customers who couldn't read and they used that. Of course, I asked how they would know this picture menu was available and her answer was the classic, "Well, it says so on the sign, doesn't it?"
Still available! Step By Step PC Tune-Up From the Tech Support Pits: From: Hank Re: Powerpoint viewer problem Dear Webby; Thanks for your help with the everyday problems of PC use. For some reason, I can no longer view Powerpoint links sent to me by friends. I have downloaded the MS links that are available (Powerpoint viewing, etc). I have MS Word (2003) and MS Works. Now when slide presentations are sent me I get the first picture and then a box asking for me 13 (or however many) Product code #'s. What is my best solution? Thanks in advance for your help. hank Dear Hank Just get Open Office from http://download.openoffice.org/ It has a PPT reader included. I haven't used the Microsoft PPT reader in years. Have FUN! DearWebby

A young mother of a newborn girl announced to her husband, "I've made up my mind. We'll call our daughter Eulalia." The new father did not care for this choice at all, but he was a very tactful young man. He said, "That's fine, honey. The first girl I loved was named Eulalia, and it will evoke pleasant memories." The wife was silent for a moment, then said, "We'll call her Mary after my mother."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 080801@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ironing Tip: Ironing Ribbons When ironing ribbons that are difficult to lay flat try holding the end of the ribbon down with your thumb and pull the iron towards you. It's much easier than trying to push the iron forward over an unruly and wrinkled ribbon. Visit ThriftyFun For More Clothing And Laundry Tips http://www.thriftyfun.com/Cleaning_Laundry_296_318.html Visit ThriftyFun For More Summer Fun Tips http://www.thriftyfun.com/Parenting_Sum ... _4980.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

I saw a news story about a family of ten in Tennessee who were struck by lightning at the burial of one of their family members. Was this God's way of telling the preacher not to lie? "We all know Billy-Bob was a GOOD man . . . " KAZZZZAAAP! "Ok, ok, he was a devoted father . . . " KAZZZAAAAP! "Jesus!" ZAAAP! "Look, we're all just relieved he was wearing clothes when we found him!"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Molly, Symbol of Hope
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com
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