Dear Webby: Fake invitations 

   Zoom the font size for best readability!
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  August 16, 2008

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings. --- Evan Esar
Thanks to Sandie for this story: I was talking on the phone with my son, who was stationed in Hawaii with the Air Force. He was explaining how the troops were learning to scuba-dive. "We used the buddy system," he said, "and occasionally dived into shark-infested waters." Listening on the extension, my daughter asked, "What do you do if you see a shark?" My son said, "Swim faster than my buddy."
Thanks to Noella for sending this picture taken by her son David with his cell phone: :
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Holly Highfield of Jacksonville, Florida Not safe to be let out in public JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (UPI) -- Police in Jacksonville, Fla., said they arrested a woman who allegedly crashed two cars and hit a bicyclist before fleeing authorities in the nude. Holly Highfield allegedly struck a bicyclist intentionally with her SUV before stripping off her clothes and allegedly attempting to make a getaway in another vehicle, WJXT-TV, Jacksonville, Fla., reported Tuesday. Children who were in the SUV with Highfield prior to the incident said she pointed out the bicyclist before striking him with the vehicle. "Do you think this biker is going to get hit? Do you have faith? Are you afraid?" she allegedly asked the children before steering the vehicle to strike the cyclist. A couple riding in a van stopped to help the bicyclist, who was hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries, and police said Highfield jumped into the van and attempted to drive off but was foiled when the vehicle hit a nearby fence. Highfield, who police said appeared to be under the influence of drugs, was arrested and charged with battery, carjacking, driving under the influence while accompanied by a minor and DUI while causing damage to property. Other charges may be added. Copyright 2008 by United Press International
Thanks to Sandie for this story: I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. "Has anyone given you any packages you didn't pack yourself?" he asked. I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son. He looked at me very carefully and slowly asked, "Your mother-in-law? Does she like you? Maybe we better have some experts look at that package!"
The census taker rang the doorbell and was quite surprised when the door was opened by a nude woman. "Don't be alarmed," she said, "I'm a nudist." Although somewhat embarrassed, the man proceeded to ask the routine questions. When his asked, "How many children do you have?" The lady replied, "Ten." "Lady," he gasped, "you're not a nudist, you just don't have time to get dressed!"
Still available! Step By Step PC Tune-Up From the Tech Support Pits: From: Denise Re: Fake invitation Dear Webby, Thanks Webby for all your info and funnies. I received an email from a known email address, inviting me to join Can you tell me about this Denny Dear Denise Never heard of it. Let the owner of that "known email address" tell you all about it. Stuff like that I dump instantly. If somebody is too lazy to tell me about it, but just wants to collect for finding yet another dumb sucker, then they can stuff it where the sun don't shine. Now they are probably sending out "invitations" with your address forged in. Yeah, I am an ornery old goat, but when it comes to weird sites, that attitude comes in handy. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks Webby for your very prompt reply. I forgot to mention that my friend did not send me the email, however it came from her email address. I emailed her and she told me that she did not send the email and did not know anything about Thanks Denise

Once in a corner near the fireplace, Uncle Ezra had been working industriously with a stub pencil and a piece of paper. Suddenly he looked up and smiled. He exclaimed, "Doggoned it Maw, I done learned to write." Maw got up and looked over his shoulder at the lines scrawled across the paper. "What does it say?" Maw asked. Uncle Ezra said, "I don't know, I ain't learned to read yet."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Shopping For Back To School Clothing Before shopping for clothes, take stock of what you have, starting with the oldest child first.Then make a list of the items that are needed and establish a budget. If at all possible, try to do the bulk of your back to school shopping a week after school starts. Visit ThriftyFun for more Back To School Tips by clicking here Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Two elderly people are living in a Florida mobile home park. He's a widower and she's a widow. They've known each other for quite a number of years. One evening there's a community supper and these two are at the same table. As the meal goes on, he gives her a few admiring glances and finally gathers up the gumption to ask her: "Will you marry me?" After a few seconds of 'careful consideration,' she smiles: "Yes, Yes, I will!" Their meal ends and with a few more pleasant exchanges they return to their respective residences. Next morning, the old man is troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He can't remember. Try as he will, he just can't bring it back. With trepidation, he goes to the telephone and calls her. First, he explains to her that he doesn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviews their lovely evening together. As he gains a little more courage, he inquires, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" To his great delight he hears her say "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continues, "And I am so glad that you called, dear, because I couldn't remember who asked me!"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Cloud Appreciation Society
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
For more ezines, check the Ezine Directory: The Ezine Directory Top 20 Ezines

[ view entry ] ( 174 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 603 )

<<First <Back | 128 | 129 | 130 | 131 | 132 | 133 | 134 | 135 | 136 | 137 | Next> Last>>