Dear Webby: Saving to CD 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  August 17, 2008

Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off. --- Ellen DeGeneres My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. --- Rodney Dangerfield
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the young couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to," replied the husband, "but I don't know her well enough..."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: :
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a school teacher in Haverfordwest, England Woman ‘tricked into sex’ by penis cream treatment A Syrian-born airline pilot allegedly tricked a schoolteacher from Haverfordwest into having sex with him by pretending he had to administer ointment on the end of his penis, a jury heard Tuesday. The teacher claims she put up with the treatment for nine months before telling her doctor. Sbano was arrested at Heathrow while attending a pilots' training facility. He claimed the woman had invented the entire story about the "treatment". Sbano, from Harrow, London, denies nine charges of rape and 11 or obtaining money by deception. During the trial, the prosecution had alleged that Syrian-born Mr Sbano fooled the woman into believing he could cure her herpes by having sex using cream. He was also accused of deceiving both the woman and her mother into giving him thousands of pounds to buy the cream and to receive treatment for cancer. The trial ended before Mr Sbano could give evidence, when the judge halted it because "matters had come to light which would require more investigation".
A boy was smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. A girl standing next to him got irritated with the smoke and said to the boy "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarette package, smoking may be bad for your health" ? The boy replied: "I am a software engineer. we don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors"
A wife is sitting in the living room watching TV, when all of a sudden she hears her husband in the bedroom, swearing up a storm. He is using every bad word in the book. The wife runs into the bedroom to see what is going on. She finds her husband just sitting on the bed. She asks her husband, "honey, what happened? Did you fall down and get hurt or something?" The husband looks up and replies, "no, I'm fine. I'm just practicing." The wife gets a real confused look on her face, and said, "practicing? Practicing for what?" Then the husband says, "The company golf tournament tomorrow!"
Still available! Step By Step PC Tune-Up From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mary Re: Save to CD OK I give up......I have been trying to figure out how to file to a CD. I have lots of recipes on my hard drive that I need to remove to another file (a CD). I have read the directions from the book that came with my computer....& I just can't figure out how to file to a CD. I have Outlook Express and Word XP on computer. There has got to be a simple easy way to do this. Can you help me? Mary in FL Dear Mary First save those files to an easy to find location, for example a desktop folder. Then put a writable CD into the burner. After a few seconds a File Explorer window will open, showing you the CD. Squish that File explorer window to the side, so that you can see it, and the desktop folder with the recipes. Highlight the recipe folder, hold down CTRL, and drag it to the File Explorer window that shows the CD. Don't take the CD out yet! Right-click in the File Explorer window and select "Write these files to CD". They are just ready to be written, but not completely nailed down yet. At this stage you can still weed out stuff like thumbs.db and similar accidentally copied but not needed files. After you click on "Write these files to CD", it is too late. Then they are already burned onto the CD. Once the burning has been completed, the CD tray usually opens automatically. Have FUN! DearWebby

A man is on his death bed with his wife by his side. In his faint, dying breath he tells her that there are two times he suspects she cheated on him and he would like to know the truth, the whole truth, before he dies. Rather hesitantly, she agrees to tell him everything ... the full truth. "Well first," she begins, "remember when you lost your job and a week later you got it back with a big raise?" He slowly nods understandingly. Then she tells him, "Do you remember when the IRS was going to do the big audit on you and a week later they dropped the audit and gave us a big refund instead?" He again weakly nods in understanding. Then he strains to ask, "Were there any more times that you cheated on me." Even more hesitantly, she says "Yes dear. There was just one more time." "Ohhhh," he sighs in agony. "You must tell me." "Ok ... but only because you insist, dear," she stammers. "Remember the time when you were elected president of the golf club, but you were so sure you were going to lose by 23 votes?" "Oh yes ... I remember," winced the dying old man. SUDDENLY, he shot up in his bed and exclaimed, "DAMN ... and I won by 45 votes!!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Ironing Tip: Scorched Clothing If you accidentally scorch a cotton shirt with an iron, you may be able to save it. Quickly put the shirt in ice cold water and let it soak overnight. Then treat the stain and wash as normal. For More Laundry Tips on ThriftyFun, Click Here Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the priest. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something." So the priest went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir." "Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked. "Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing." That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Art of Zaremba: (be sure to check out the galleries!)
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
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