Dear Webby: PayPal Spoof 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  August 22, 2008

Today is Friday, time to wear something red
to show your support for the troops!

There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on. --- Robert Byrne Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution. --- Edward Teller
Thanks to Gloria for bringing back this classic: With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the new baby?' I asked 'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.' Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?' No, not yet,' She said. After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?' 'No, not yet,' replied my friend. Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?' 'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me. 'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?' 'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture : Record setting harvest was done in 2008, in Norton , Kansas 160 acres was harvested with 100 combines and several grain trucks in 10 minutes and 15 seconds. The picture shows about half of the combines involved. These have already completed one run the length of the field and are now coming back for the swaths left standing between each machine's path. This record will be entered in the Guinness World. Proceeds of this crop is to be sent to a kids camp.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Felix Adler, 40, of Cham, Germany Man left naked and broke A trusting German had to jog two miles naked to a police station after a woman promised him sex and then ran off with his clothes. Felix Adler, 40, said he met the 24-year-old woman in a bar in Cham in southern Germany and they walked to woods on the edge of town where she begged him to have sex. But as he stripped off, she fled with his clothes - including his wallet with 800 in it. He managed to make his way to the police station and gave a full description of the woman to police who later tracked her down. A police spokesman said: "He was very embarrassed and very cold by the time he got to the police station." ... rangecrime
"Grandma, how long have you and Grandpa been married?" asked young Nina. "Fifty years," Grandma replied. "That is so wonderful," exclaimed Nina. "And I bet in all that time, you never once thought about divorce, right?" "Right Nina. Divorce, NEVER. Murder, lots of times, but never divorce."
A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge of his property. He watched as a red sports car came over the top of a hill and followed the road up to the spot where he stood. The driver pulled over to the side of the road and called out to the farmer. "Do you know how I can get to Route 91?" the driver asked. The farmer thought for a few seconds. Then he said, "Nope." "Do you know where the nearest turnpike entrance is?" the driver asked. "Nope," the farmer replied. "How about the town of Hadley. Do you know which direction it is from here?" "Nope." Exasperated, the driver raced his engine. "You don't know very much, do you?" he said. "Nope," the farmer replied. "But I'm not lost."
Still available! Step By Step PC Tune-Up From the Tech Support Pits: From: Glenn Re: PayPal Dear Webby, this came in, and I have had no busineess with PayPal. It did not have my email address or my name, just the name of the buyer as John Angel, and my name in Glenn Dix. Any suggestions? I tried the link, and it said the page could not be displayed. Thank you for any help. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Subject: Dispute Transaction Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:44:14 +0300 ....... Dear Glenn That is a typical hoax. Hover, but don't click over the dispute transaction link. You will see in the status line that it actually goes to some number domain. Luckily somebody had already reported the same stuff to and PayPal did the digital equivalent of nuking that site. That is why you got a "Page not found" instead of a trojan invasion. Just dump it and next time, don't click on anything suspicious! Hover the mouse over links and watch the status line, but don't click! Have FUN! DearWebby

The wealthy wife of a very successful Jewish businessman went to the portrait artist for her first sitting. The portrait, a gift for her husband. She explained to the artist what she wanted: "You should paint me like I am. These little wrinkles, you put them on your canvas. The lines under my eyes, the flab on my arms, the turn in my nose, and the mole on my cheek, they all stay... BUT on my hands you put lots of rings with big diamonds and emeralds and bright jewels. Around my neck you put chains of gold and diamonds. Do you understand?" The artist looked at her in earnest and asked why she should want such detail of real life in her physical appearance, but adorn herself with the phony jewelry. She replied: "I am not well. When I die my husband will re-marry. The new wife, she should go crazy looking for the jewels."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Saving Money on Appliances Always try to save up for large appliance purchases rather than putting them on a credit card. High interest credit cards can result in paying double for the appliances if you don't pay them off aggressively. Also, be sure to check the local want ads for used appliances. Click Here For More Budget and Finance Tips From ThriftyFun ... e_442.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I call mine Sex. He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment. When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, I'd like one too! I said, But this is a dog.. He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, You don't understand. I've had Sex, since I was 9 years old. He winked and said You must have been quite a kid. When I married and went on my honeymoon. I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do. One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married. The judge said, The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case please. Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, Me too. Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Lifelike Animation
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
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