Dear Webby: How can I recognize a pirated XP CD? 

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It's Friday,  August 29, 2008
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Dancing: The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music. --- George Bernard Shaw "The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction." --- Wayne H.
A college senior takes his new girlfriend to a football game. As the young couple is watching the action, a substitute is put into the game. "You see that fellow running into the huddle?" the young man asks, pointing to the sub. The girl nods. "Well," says the young man, "take a good look at him. I expect him to be our best man next year." The girl snuggles closer and says to the surprised young man, "That's the strangest way I've ever heard a fellow to propose to a girl. But regardless of how you said it, I accept."
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nitpickers in Bulgarian courts Divorcee to lose house over 37 cents? A Bulgarian divorcee was told he could have his house repossessed because he hadn't coughed up an alimony payment to his ex-wife - of 37 cents. Vasil Yordanov from Haskovo, had been ordered to pay the sum as part of a divorce settlement 15 years ago but forgot. Now a judge has warned him that he is facing a visit from bailiffs and all his property could be repossessed if he fails another order to pay up. Yordanov said: "I got a letter from the courts and at first thought someone was playing a joke on me. Then when I checked I found out they were being completely serious. "It must have cost the courts and my ex-wife's legal team twenty times as much just to send me a letter to remind me. I am perfectly happy to pay up the money or if they would like, I can offer them goods in exchange. "I have had a look around for something in my house worth 37 cents and I thought maybe a toilet roll would be about right."
Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened. Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while." Josh, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey." Andy, "No I don't. I hurt it last year when I lost $1,000 on the Stanley Cup play-offs. I put my foot through the television."
Little Johnny had just returned from his honeymoon and was settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night the landlady met Little Johnny in the hallway and said, "I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your new bride would like to have them?" "I'll ask her," Little Johnny responded. He opened the door to his apartment and called out, "Honey, would you like to see 'Oliver Twist' tonight?" "No Way!!," his bride retorted, "If you show me one more trick with that thing, I'm going home to my Mother.....!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: David Re:How to spot pirated XP Dear Webby, The other day you mentioned that there are bootleg copies of Windows XP for sale on the net. How can someone spot a counterfeit copy? The reason I'm asking is because I'm thinking of buying a copy of Windows XP, SP2 off of eBay. Thanks for all your help, David Dear David There is absolutely no way to tell the difference, until you got it in front of you, and the seller is not going to tell you, if it is hot. I stocked up when I told all Humor Letter readers to stock up on XP CDs, but if I needed more, I would buy them from people I know and trust, like Jerome in Texas. His company REALLY stocked up. Have FUN! DearWebby

As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?" The Custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with the children, don't we?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Moving Large Planters Since most planters are wider on top than on the bottom, they can be difficult to move with a hand truck. Use an old skateboard instead. If you don't have one, you can probably find one at your local thrift store. They work well for moving other heavy objects as well. Unusual Ideas for Planters Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

When my four year old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother and found a water pistol. He squealed with de- light and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember."

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
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