Dear Webby: Difference between legitimate and pirated XP 

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It's Saturday,  August 30, 2008

There are only two ways of telling the complete truth-- anonymously and posthumously. --- Thomas Sowell
The proprietor of a successful optical shop was instructing his son on how to charge a customer. "After you have fitted the customer's glasses," he said, "and he asks you what the charge will be, you say, '$100.' Then see if he winces." "If the customer doesn't wince you say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be another $100.'" "If he still doesn't wince, you say firmly, 'Each.'"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to County Attorney Fred Busroe of Harlan, Kentucky HARLAN, Ky. (UPI) -- An ex-candidate for governor of Kentucky, whose colloquial compliment about two young girls was taken sexually and landed him in jail is free but unhappy. Otis "Bullman" Hensley Jr., who has twice run unsuccessfully for governor, said his offer to trade "a good fattening hog" for a 13-year-old girl and an 11-year-old girl accompanied by their aunt at a Don's Supersaver store was nothing more than an eastern Kentucky saying that is meant as a compliment about someone's children, the Lexington (Ky.) Herald-Leader reported Tuesday. However, the girls' father did not see the humor and pressed felony charges of first-degree attempted unlawful transaction with a minor against the politician. Hensley spent two days in jail in Harlan before he made bail and prosecutor J.D. Smith said authorities have determined Hensley "absolutely meant no harm" by his comment. The charges were dropped on condition that Hensley apologize to the family and have no further contact with them. Hensley said he was outraged. ------------------------- He probably apologized that he mistook them for people with brains. I have heard people in Kentucky and Tennessee use that phrase, and normally the response was "Why, Thank you! You'd probably trade them back fer bisquits when they start fighting with each other." or "Bless yer heart! You'd prolly trade them back fer grits, once they eat you out of house and home!" Neither the compliment nor the graceful response implies anything sexual or any actually intended transacton, or that the person making the compliment owns a hog. It's just Apalachian for:"It's good to see some well mannered kids!" Obviously, the father of the kids is too stupid to live in Kentucky, but County Attorney Fred Busroe should be ridden out of town on a rail. He should have known better!
Everyone in the hotel was talking about the wedding where the groom was 95 years old and the bride was only 23. The groom looked pretty feeble, and some of the guests thought that the wedding night could kill the old man, because his bride was a healthy and vivacious young woman. But the next morning, everyone was surprised to see the bride come down the main stairway slowly, step by step, and painfully bow-legged. She finally managed to hobble to the front desk. The clerk looked very concerned, and he asked the bride, "What happened to you? You look like you just got done wrestling an alligator." "Oh my God," said the bride. "He told me that he had been saving up for 75 years.... I thought he meant his money!!"
TOP 10 REASONS FARM TRUCKS AREN'T STOLEN 10. They have about 20 miles before they overheat, breakdown or run out of gas. 9. Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out. 8. It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, syringes, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab. 7. It takes too long to start, and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision. 6. The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean. 5. They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc. 4. The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape. 3. Top speed is approximately 45 mph. 2. Who wants to steal a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in body work, tail-lights and windshield? 1. It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Allan Re:What is different with the pirated XP Dear Webby, What is the difference between pirated and legitimate XP? Considering that M$ is spending really big money and effort to fight against the proliferation of pirate XP, it must be pretty good. Aside from moral and ethical grounds, is there any reason to pay $150 for a legitimate XP instead $10 for pirate XP? What do you recommend? Allan Dear Allan It is well known that most of the computers in Russia use pirate XP, and similar situations exist in many East Block countries and in China. I have never seen or tried a pirated XP, but considering how many Millions of people use them, it seems to be adequate. Users apparently get the automatic Tuesday bug fixes, but not the SP updates. They don't have to install the SP3 blocker. Microsoft is not doing a witch-hunt against users of pirated XP, even though they claim they could, because that would make Linux the main OS overnight. They probably count each pirated XP installations as "one more Vista sold". Well, it's not a legitimate XP, so it must be Vista, right? However, Microsoft is using their full might to chase sellers of pirated XP, and if your name shows up in a caught sellers database, that you bought a few hundred pirated XP CDs for your business, then they might contact you. My recommendation? If you can afford a legitimate XP, then get the legitimate one. If you can't, get Linux. It's free. The switch from Windows to Linux is easier than the switch from Mac to Windows. Have FUN! DearWebby

I was bar tending at a club nearby. When a bunch of roaring motorcycles pulled up outside, our patrons' eyes swung toward the door and conversation turned into uneasy whispering. A group of tough looking bikers walked up to the bar, and one of them asked me where the phone was. I pointed it out, and the silence in the room let everybody overhear what the biker boomed into the receiver: "Hi, Mom. Just want to let you know I didn't forget to pick up your box of .... thingies at the drugstore, but I'll probably be home late tonight. We are doing the charity run for breast cancer today."

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Daily tip from Cereal Boxes for Magazine Storage Most cereal boxes can be converted into boxes to store magazines. Just remove the top flaps and cut the upper third of the box off at a diagonal angle. You can put contact paper on the outside of the box to make the box look better. For More Green Living Tips on ThriftyFun, Click Here Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Little Johnny opened the door. The teacher said, "Hello, Johnny. I would like to talk to your mother or your father." Little Johnny said, "Sorry, but they ain't here." The teacher said, "Johnny, what is it with your grammar?" "Beats me," said Little Johnny, "but dad sure was mad that they had t'go bail her out again."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Gros Morne National Park
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
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