Dear Webby: Slow Windows start 

   Zoom the font size for best readability!
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  September 1, 2008
Labor Day!

"Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body." --- Seneca "Excellence in any department can be attained only by the labor of a lifetime; it is not to be purchased at a lesser price." --- Samuel Johnson
"I see you went crazy at the big summer clearance sale," Wanda comments, as she looks at all the bags of merchandise her friend, Carol just brought home from the store. "You got that right ... I almost bought their elevator 'cause it was marked down."
Thanks to Monique and Leviithecat for this picture: My friend is a wonderful photographer and I thought you might like to add this one to your HumorWebby page? Doesn't it look like a plant that's on fire?! We don't know what it's called I'm afraid. All best wishes Monique and Leviithecat!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 15 year old boy in Palm Bay, Florida Police cite computer rage in teen's arrest PALM BAY, Fla. (UPI) -- Police in Florida say a 15-year-old boy flew into a rage, attacking his mother and older brother over changes made to the family computer. Palm Bay police investigators said the teenager became angry after learning of the computer privilege changes and chased his mother with a knife, pushing her repeatedly before striking his older brother with a sugar cane, WKMG-TV in Orlando reported Tuesday. The teenager, who allegedly told police he had felt threatened by his mother and brother, was taken to the Juvenile Detention Center in Sharpes Sunday. He was charged with aggravated assault and battery and is not likely to have any computer privileges in the near future.
A scientist found, to his great surprise, that he was lactose intolerant (unable to digest milk sugar). At dinner that night with his two young daughters (age 9 and 4 years), he mentioned that he had found out that he was lactose intolerant and tried to explain to them what that meant. A couple of months later, he took the kids to a local restaurant for a quick breakfast before shopping. The place was very busy, but the quality of the food and service were obviously not up to par. When they finally got their breakfast, his youngest daughter took a look at her father's omelet and burnt toast and declared very loudly to the waitress "My Daddy can't eat that toast, he is black toast intolerant."
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re:Slow start-up Good Afternoon Webby, My computer boots up slowly. I have run crap cleaner, defraged, ran my McAfee to be sure everything was clean... I only very few icons on the right bottom of my screen. I think these are at start up... (email icon; on-line icon; volume icon). I don't know if any of this will help you...I don't understand all of it, but it may give you a clue to something. I have a Dell Dimension 8400 Series, Intel Pentium 4 Processor 550 at 400 MHz I run XP Professional; service Pack 2 Total physical memory 3.072 MB Available physical memory 2.42 GB Total Vertual memory 2 GB Available virtual memory 1.96 GB Do I need to upgrade something? You've helped me so many times before, I just don't get why the computer has slowed down at start up. Many thanks, Carol Dear Carol That set-up looks OK. About the only change I would recommend is to increase the virtual memory to double the size of the physical memory. You can check and weed out the programs that are called by the Start-Up: Click on Start then Run. In the Open box, type msconfig.exe and hit Enter. Once displayed, click on the "Startup" tab. You will see a list of items in the StartUp. Take the checkmarks off any that look suspicious or frivolous. The programs will still work, they just won't be pre-loaded during start-up. Have FUN! DearWebby

A man drove his secretary home from a late afternoon get-together of coworkers because she was drunk and unable to drive. Since nothing happened along the way between the two, the man decided not to mention the secretary to his wife. Later that evening while the man was taking the wife to a movie, he noticed a high-heeled shoe under the passenger seat. So, he asked her to watch out her window for a parking spot close to the theater. While she was busy looking, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window. When they arrived at the theater and were about ready to get out of the car, his wife asked, "Sweetie, have you seen my other shoe?

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Save Money On Clothing When buying clothing for you or your children, try to avoid dry clean only clothing, especially when buying clothing that you plan to wear regularly. It can cost between 5 and 20 dollars for professional dry cleaning which quickly adds up. Read more tips on saving money on clothing at ThriftyFun by clicking here Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Thanks too Sandie for this: Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store, painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters four feet tall: YELD. Close, but not close enough. The next week, I drove through the same parking lot and found it was changed. They had painted an I between the existing letters. Now, it read: YEILD. About two months later, they finally fixed it. The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top of that was the word STOP.

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Gigantic City Structures
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from
For more ezines, check the Ezine Directory: The Ezine Directory Top 20 Ezines

[ view entry ] ( 118 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 743 )

<<First <Back | 128 | 129 | 130 | 131 | 132 | 133 | 134 | 135 | 136 | 137 | Next> Last>>