Dear Webby: Yahoo and Skype problem 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  September 4, 2008
Tomorrow is Friday, time to wear something red
to show your support for the troops!

Genius is only great patience. --- Buffon
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a shotgun. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asks the clerk. And she says, "Are you kidding? He doesn't even know yet that I'm going to shoot him!"
Thanks to DIchord for this picture: Sometimes it gets hot in Calif.'s Central Valley DIchord
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrea Raninger, Vieanna, Austria Top cop's car stolen Austria's top police officer is fuming after thieves made off with her official car - parked right outside her house. Andrea Raninger, head of the country's Federal Criminal Police, had to report the $36,000 Toyota RAV4 stolen to her own officers. She had been set to leave her home in Vienna for work when she discovered it was missing. A police source said: "It is one of the most embarrassing incidents that could happen to the police force. Either someone targeted her especially because she is the top cop, or it was just a random car theft. "In either case it's one of the worst bits of PR the force can possibly have. They can't even protect themselves from thieves, let alone the general public." -------- Considering the neighborhood, she should have parked it in the garage.
Thanks to Noella for this: Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. (They have also appeared in thr Humor Letter before) Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England ) A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA ) A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden ) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one. Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax ? (England) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA ) A: Face towards the US and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll tell you about East and West. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England ) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA ) A: Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany ) A: No, WE don't stink. You better bring some along for yourself. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA ) A: Only at Thanksgiving. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent. They roam the city streets eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. Spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking will scare them off. Q: Does everybody in Banff speak Japanese? A: No, the elk, that roam the streets, only speak Canadian, eh! Q: Do the Mounties still ride around on horses and carry mammoth tusk clubs? A: Only during riots, G8 conferences, mud wrestling championships and hippo races. Q: I heard about submarine races at Lost Lagoon in Vancouver. When do they have them? A: Most evenings as soon as it gets dark. You can also park at Stanley Park across the street. Q: Do the guys still smoke at Hooters in Calgary? A: No, the girls were told to slow down.
A young minister sitting down to dinner, was about to say the blessing when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that I have blessed all this stuff before."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bill Re: Yahoo Mail problem Dear Webby I have been a regular Dear Webby fan for several years now - as of today, 9/3 - everything comes up but the letter -- I have no idea why, nor what to do about it - nothing has changed that I am aware of in the configuation of the computer -- I had to have it stripped recently and re-installed, then I re=installed avast!, I have tried to re-install my Skype line, and it does not let me sign on - so something is amiss - but I wasstill getting your mail just fine through Sunday - did not look at the mail yesterday, but both monday and tuesday were blank. Thanks Bill Dear Bill Have you ever overheard people calling you "that silly yahoo" and snicker behind your back? Pretending that sbcglobal is not yahoo is not helping you. You received your Humor Letter quite OK, but because of a screw-up in the current Yahoo system, they won't let you see it until you hit REPLY. They want to make it look to others as if you got proper mail. As I have told thousands of yahoos, you have a choice: Either hit REPLY or FORWAD and threaten to show others how messed up Yahoo is or get some decent email service. Re Skype: I used the Google search in the top of the Humor Letter that you replied with. It worked fine, proving that you did get it 100% OK. Well, anyway, there is no mention anywhere of anything related to the new Yahoo interfering with Skype. Most likely the problem is a security setting in your Avast. I am not familiar with Avast, but most likely you will find a way to OK Skype and allow it. I have used Skype for about half a dozen years now, since it's early Beta, and have never come across that problem. Have FUN! DearWebby

A traffic cop pulls over a guy who has had one drink too many. "Where do you think you're going at this hour of the morning?" the officer asks. "Offischer," the man slurs, while envisioning his waiting wife, "I'm going to a lecture."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Protecting Your Home When Traveling When you are on vacation, your home is susceptible to burglary. One trick is to create the illusion that you are home by putting a few lights on a timer. Program the individual lights to turn on for a while each night. Also have someone check that mail, newspapers, or packages aren't piling up. Visit ThriftyFun For More Home Safety Tips ... _4771.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

President Calvin Coolidge, who was notorious for his reluctance to talk. One Sunday he went to church by himself, and when he returned to the White House, his wife asked, "Was the sermon good?" "Yes," the President told her. "What was it about?" she asked. "Sin." "What did the minister say?" "He seems to be against it." ------------------- That reminds me: Interesting facts about Palin and Obama

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Fiery" target="_blank" >">Fiery Flowers
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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