Dear Webby: Help for removing XP Antivirus 2008 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  September 8, 2008

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. --- Mark Twain
"So," the woman asked the detective she had hired,"did you trail my husband?" "Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment." A big smile crossed the womans face,"Aha!! Then I've got him!" she said, bloasting. " Is there any doubt what he was doing?" "No ma'am." replied the sleuth, "It's pretty clear that he was following you, and taking pictures."
Thanks to Deeli for sending this picture of a squirrel outside her window:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award goes to Carrol Laverne Uitermarkt, 56, of Prairie City, Iowa Suicidal vacuuming One man was seriously injured in an explosion apparently caused by vacuuming gasoline in Des Moines on Monday afternoon. Carrol Laverne Uitermarkt, 56, of Prairie City, was taken to Mercy Medical Center in Des Moines. Police said Ralph Touch and Uitermarkt were using gasoline to clean the basement floor at 5805 New York Avenue. Touch told officers they would put a small amount of gasoline on the floor and then suck it up with a Shop-Vac. Touch told officers they were almost finished with the floor and the Shop-Vac was nearly full of gas when the explosion occurred shortly before 2 p.m. Touch was standing outside on the east side of the house at the time of the explosion, police said. A man riding by on his bike at the time heard the blast and called 911. He then helped Touch get Uitermarkt out of the basement. Officers said in a report: "Uitermarkt was conscious and breathing, with severe burns to the majority of his body." Officials said the force of the explosion blew out the windows and bowed the walls and foundation. A property to the east also was damaged. Uitermarkt later was transferred from Mercy Medical Çenter to University of Iowa Hospitals in Iowa City, where he died. [www_desmoinesregister_com]
A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn't, sent them off to get one. They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him. When they got back to the judge, he pointed out they had filled the names in backwards -- his where hers belonged and vice versa. They rushed back to the clerk's office, caught him again, and got another license. This time, the judge noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format. Again they catch the clerk... After five reissued licenses, the judge is finally satisfied. Judge: "I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards." Groom: "That's funny - that's just what the clerk called you."
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him. "Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!" "Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked. "That's the one!" "That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?" "Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mike Re: Antivirus 2008 Dear Webby, I got this from a site that helped me get rid of a trojan virus and it worked great. Haven't had any more show up. Also used this on a friends computer that had 4 trojans in it. Hope this might help those that you posed today. Download SDFix and save it to your Desktop. Double click SDFix.exe and it will extract the files to %systemdrive% (Drive that contains the Windows Directory, typically C:\SDFix) Please then reboot your computer in Safe Mode by doing the following : Restart your computer After hearing your computer beep once during startup, but before the Windows icon appears, tap the F8 key continually; Instead of Windows loading as normal, the Advanced Options Menu should appear; Select the first option, to run Windows in Safe Mode, then press Enter. Choose your usual account. Open the extracted SDFix folder and double click RunThis.bat to start the script. Type Y to begin the cleanup process. It will remove any Trojan Services and Registry Entries that it finds then prompt you to press any key to Reboot. Press any Key and it will restart the PC. Mike Dear Mike Thanks for your valuable info! Have FUN! DearWebby

How To Clean A Cat -------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Dress in leather welder's jacket and pants 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water. 3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet, close both lids and stand on them 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective. 6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door. 7. Jump off the toilet as far as you can. Don't worry about opening the lids. The cat will do that automatically. 8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself. Sincerely, The DOG

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Ziploc Bags for Outfits I have two preschool daughters. When we travel, I pack outfits in gallon ziploc bags. I include top, shorts, underwear and socks. That way, they can take a pack and dress themselves and I don't have to sort through all of the clothes each day. Visit ThriftyFun For More Parenting Tips Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:  

A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. He asks, "Can I have a dozen condoms, Miss?" "Don't Miss me, mister." "Well, in that case, make it 13."
Interesting facts about Obama and Palin

Thanks to Sandie for today's Bonus Link: Hurricane Tracking
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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