Dear Webby: Removing Google Suggestions 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  September 11, 2008

Thanks to the soldiers who keep the barbarians 
busy on their own turf instead of here!

Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. --- Elbert Hubbard Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. --- Friedrich Nietzsche
Thanks to Jai for this story: Two bowling teams charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana. The A team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the B team rode on the top level. The A team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the B team upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When she reached the top, she found all the B team members in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. So she asked, "What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!" One of them looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... " YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!?!"
Thanks to Sandie for sending these pictures: Okie cattle hauler. He bought a bull in Kansas... hauled it to Tulsa, OK.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to kidnappers in Tampa, Florida Texting Allows Kidnap Victim To Turn The Tables On Kidnappers Tuesday September 9, 2008 Staff Kidnapping is a heinous and heartless crime that sometimes results in the death of the person being held for ransom. But in a strange twist in a case in Florida, it was the victim who emerged unscathed after violently turning the tables on his abductors. Police in Tampa, Florida are still trying to figure out exactly what happened after a man was taken from a local hotel at gunpoint Sunday and forced into a waiting car. The kidnappers apparently believed the victim could lead them to another man they had a dispute with over some stolen coins. So when the trio drove off with their reluctant hostage, he knew he had to look for any break to get away. But he never expected the one that came. Cops say one of the abductors in the back seat temporarily put down his gun so he could send a text message on his cell phone. Without hesitating, the victim picked up the loaded weapon, shot the man next to him and then fired a series of rounds at the other abductor in the front seat. He then put the barrel to the head of the driver and ordered him to stop the car. The victim got out and ran, immediately calling 911 and sending police racing to the scene. Meanwhile, the only uninjured kidnapper drove to a nearby fast food restaurant. When employees there saw two men in the car bleeding and badly wounded, they called authorities as well, and the driver was soon taken into custody. The man who sent the text message was dead while the other suspect was wounded but alive and remains in hospital. The survivors are expected to be charged with kidnapping. The victim wasn't hurt and police are trying to sort out all the bizarre details.
A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "Oh, 'bout One-sixty-five." he says. The nurse puts him on the scale. It turns out that his weight is 187. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "Oh, 'bout six feet," he says. The nurse checks and sees that he's only 5 feet 8 3/4 inches. She then takes his blood pressure, and it's very high. "High!" The man explains, "Of course it's high. When I came in here, I was tall and lanky. Now, durnit, I'm short and fat!"
Rabbi Mendel was one day walking along a very narrow street, when he came face to face with a rival Rabbi. The street was too narrow for the two to pass. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily: . . . "I never make way for fools " Smiling, Rabbi Mendel stepped aside and said, . . ."I always do."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Nita Re: Google "suggestions" Dear Webby, Thank you for all your excellent computer advice daily. What search engine do you use? I have used Google for years but do not like their list of filled in names when I go to type in a subject. Google just starting doing this & you cannot delete their lists. If you accidentally click on one of their subject you get spam from that outfit. Thanks again for all you help. Nita Dear Nita 1. Click the Settings button on your Toolbar. 2. Select Options from the drop-down menu. 3. Click the Search Box Settings button. 4. Deselect the 'Suggest popular searches' checkbox. 5. Click the OK button. Have FUN! DearWebby

Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now. As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work. He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay her for the day, but that she could just go home; he just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed. The model said, "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the least I can do." He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea, when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps. "Oh darn!!!" he whispered loudly, "It's my wife! Quick!!! Take all your clothes off."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Kitchen Time Saver - Quick Stir Fry You can reduce the time it takes to stir fry slow cooking vegetable like carrots and broccoli by blanching them. You can also reduce the cooking time by cutting them thinly. Just be sure to cut all your veggies and as uniformly as possibly so they cook evenly. Visit ThriftyFun For More Cooking Tips ... 6_930.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:  

A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm and soothing voice, says, "Alright, take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The hunter comes back on the line. "OK. Now what??"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Mixed Photo Slide Show
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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