Dear Webby: SBCGLOBAL problems 

   Zoom the font size for best readability!
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  September 23, 2008

Philosophers say a great deal about what is absolutely necessary for science, and it is always, so far as one can see, rather naive, and probably wrong. --- Richard Feynman
Thanks to Dianne for this story: (Yeah, we got elections in Canada too, just shorter campaign periods) A farmer finally decided to buy a TV. The store assured him that they would install the antenna and TV the next day. The next evening the farmer turned on his new TV and found only political ads on every channel. The next morning he turned the TV on and found only political ads again. When he came in to eat lunch he tried the TV again but still only found political ads. The next day when he still found only political ads he called the store to complain. The owner said that it was impossible for every channel to only have political ads, but agreed to send their repairman to check the TV. When the TV repairman turned on the TV he found that the farmer was right. After looking at the TV for a while he went outside to check the antenna. In a few minutes he returned and told the farmer he had found the problem. The antenna had been installed on top of the windmill and grounded to the manure spreader.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 37 year old burglar in Dusseldorf, Germany. Drunk burglar Two Polish builders left a 50,000 trail of destruction when they drove to an off-licence booze vendor in a digger truck after running out of booze on the building site. Marek Cowalski, 27 and Tomasz Dzwonicki, 19, ploughed into parked cars, garden walls and fences and a set of traffic lights on their way to buy more drinks for a birthday binge on a building site in Glogow, south-west Poland. "No one tried to stop them because people were too stunned," said a local shopkeeper, "People just stopped on the spot and stared at them. "Who do they think they are making all that mess anyway? You could see they were drunk a mile off - the digger was zigzagging across the street." The sight of workmen drinking on construction sites is not uncommon in Poland as drinking laws are more lax. But police were forced to act when the boozy pair tried to reverse into a parking space outside the off licence - and drove straight into the shop and got stuck. Fire crews eventually managed to cut the dozy pair out and they were taken straight to jail, where they face up to five years for their stunt.
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party, who laid me on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while your sister whipped my face with celery tops duck-taped to her boobs??? She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Vic Re: SBCGLOBAL problems FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS YOUR LETTER ARRIVES AS ALWAYS BUT IS TOTALLY BLANK EXCEPT FOR THE HEADINGS. THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED BEFORE-----------------ANY IDEAS? Dear Vic It's too bad you don't read the Tech Support Pits. I have long lost track of how many times I have mentioned that SBCGLOBAL treats their victims as if they were a bunch of silly yahoos, who don't deserve proper mail. To fool them, you have to hit REPLY, or FORWARD, as if you were going to show somebody how bad SBCGLOBAL is. THEN all of a sudden you can see the parts that they had been hiding from you. Another way around the tricks of the incompetent bozos at the moron farm is to use FireFox GoogleChrome Opera Maxton Safari as your browser. The bozos mess up only Yahoo Mail for Internet Explorer. They have not figured out yet how to mess up the other browsers. So, to read HTML newsletters, either hit REPLY, or use a different browser. Have FUN! DearWebby

Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my son is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him a big party."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Record Driving Directions I use my car's cassette player to "read" directions for me. I make the tape ahead of time, and start and stop it as needed along the way. This is especially good if someone has given you directions to their home, etc. Visit ThriftyFun For More Helpful Hints ... 6_138.html Wow! I remember those! While it might be difficult nowadays to find a car with a cassette player, you can use a digital dictaphone for that. They look like a fat key-fob and you can hang them on the ignition key ring, or stick one of these potholder hooks onto the dash. They are sturdy enough that, for office use, you can tap them with your shoe to start or stop talking. You can most definitely slap them against the dash for that. They are from $15 - $50. Also considerably cheaper than an antique car with tape deck is a GPS, that will read you the turn by turn directions just before each turn. Those are from $69 and up. If I lived in a big, complicated city, I would definitely get one of those. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:Share & Compare Your MPG

With some misgivings, we left a young baby-sitter in charge of our three energetic youngsters. When we returned a few, hours later, she was sitting alone watching TV. I went to check on the children, and found them in our narrow hallway. By bracing their arms and legs against the walls, two of them had climbed up to the ceiling. "The baby-sitter taught us how," they said gleefully. The sitter joined me, her face a deep red. "Since they had me climbing the walls, I figured they might as well be too," she stammered.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: The Birth of a Hummingbird
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

[ view entry ] ( 195 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 986 )

<<First <Back | 127 | 128 | 129 | 130 | 131 | 132 | 133 | 134 | 135 | 136 | Next> Last>>