Dear Webby: PowerPoint Update 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  October 1, 2008

It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver." --- Mahatma Gandhi Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer. ---Mel Brooks.
The stern faced Personnel Manager told an applicant that they needed an individual who is completely responsible. "I sure qualify, then," replied the applicant. "Everywhere I've worked, whenever something went wrong, I was responsible."
A woman holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use the store's baby scale. "Sorry, ma'am," says the clerk. "Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first." "Oh, that won't work," says the woman. "Why not?" asks the clerk. "Because," she answers, "I'm not the mother - I'm the aunt."
Not often that you see a dark waterfall! The sun is reflecting off the river above and below the fall. I snuck off for a couple hours today to take some fall pix, and drove up to Sheep Falls. 16 more pictures are at my dad's site at
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michelle Allen of Middletown, Ohio Sent in by Walter Disudderly conduct MIDDLETOWN -- A Middletown woman is accused of being disorderly in public -- while wearing a cow suit. A police report filed about the incident said Michelle Allen allegedly chased children in her neighborhood while wearing the suit on Monday evening. Allen also urinated on a neighbor's front porch, the report said, and was warned by officers to go home and stay there. Allen was charged with disorderly conduct after an officer found her causing traffic problems on North Verity Parkway. The officer's report stated that Allen was verbally abusive to him on the trip to jail and smelled of alcohol. The report did not speculate as to why Allen was wearing the cow suit. Picture of Michelle Allen in cow suit
A man decides to take the opportunity, while his wife is away, to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rae Re:PowerPoint update problem Dear Webby; How I relate to the frustration Mike is experiencing with the Power Point up-date! Everytime I boot up, a notice comes on that the update is available. When I click to run it, I'm told it was unable to be installed. When I shut down, it says an update is being installed and the computer will turn off when complete. This has been going on for days. I do not have Microsoft Office on my computer. Any suggestions? Thanks so much for all you do and give. Also, thank your dad for all the wonderful pictures of his cacti flowers. Rae Dear Rae Just a typical Microsoft SNAFU. Sounds like you got PPT 2003 You will have to UN-install that. Then get PPT 2007 from Microsoft and install that. Or get Open Office. It is free, and better than Microsoft Office. It has a PowerPoint Viewer /Editor included, that is a generation ahead of Microsoft Power Point Viewer. The link to Open Office is in my toolbox Have FUN! DearWebby

I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. I was a bit nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow covered area. The pilot descended to about 15 feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm. "I wonder why he didn't land," I said. "He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed," the man said. As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. "It looks plowed to me," I commented. "No," my seatmate said. "It hasn't been cleared for some time." "How can you tell?" "Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives the plow."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Protecting Your Remote Control If you have kids you can prevent gooey and dirty hands from gumming up your remote control by placing it in a ziplock bag. They can still see the controls but can't gum up the buttons. Visit ThriftyFun For More Helpful Parenting Tips Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:Share & Compare Your MPG

Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick out the four largest ones and throw them at me, will you?" "Ok. But, why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Hadrian's Wall
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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