Dear Webby: mail sending limits 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  October 9, 2008
Tomorrow is Friday. Time to wear something red
to show your support for the troops.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. --- Lucille S. Harper I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. --- Robert McCloskey
Thanks to Roland for this story: The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest, and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically. "No," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry."
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A woman asked the dog groomer, "How much to give Fifi a haircut?" "Fifty dollars." "Fifty dollars?! I only pay thirty bucks for my own haircuts." "That may be true. But then you don't bite, do you?"
Thanks to Colleen for this picture of her Mystery Flower
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tommy Fox of Dover, Tennessee Foxed Man named Fox attacked by fox, crashes car DOVER, Tenn. (UPI) -- A Tennessee man named Tommy Fox crashed his car while contending with an attack from a real fox, whose tail he intended to cut off, authorities say. After the Dover man struck a red fox that had dashed in front of his sport utility vehicle last week, he said he thought the animal was dead so he retrieved it from the roadway, planning to cut off its tail for a souvenir, a state wildlife official told Gannett Tennessee. Fox said the animal regained consciousness in the back seat of his SUV and attacked him, causing him to lose control of the vehicle and flip it over into a ditch. Records indicated Fox was treated for minor injuries at the scene by Montgomery County, Tenn., paramedics. The fox was found dead in the vehicle, but Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency wildlife officer Dale Grandstaff said it wasn't clear if it had died from the initial collision or from the rollover. Gannett Tennessee said it was not known if Fox got to keep the fox tail. Copyright 2008 by United Press International
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?". But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?". One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury". But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm". Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast". Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills". Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land". And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda... "The Apostles were in one Accord".
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Joan Re: mail sending limits Dear Webby I send a free newsletter to friends and subscribers, but no matter what ISP I try, they all either kick me out or insist that I get additional dial-up accounts. That is getting quite expensive. What ISP do you use? Joan Dear Joan My ISP is Telus, but I don't use their email. It is not reliable enough for business purposes, and they use some outgoing mail filtering that is so insane, it even filters their own support emails. If I tell somebody how to get rid of a virus, they censor it. For email I use an address on a Webby server. For newsletters I use the MagicList that I mentioned yesterday. You shouldn't really use regular email for sending to more than 50 people at a time. ISPs are not set up for that. Web servers are. Considering that a sub-domain web site is only $2.50, a LOT less than an extra dial-up account, it would be silly to continue doing it the hard way. Running a web site is not rocket science. If the millions of kids on Geocities and places like that can do it, so can you. Keep in mind that a regular web site is a lot easier to run than the cruelly restricted rigmaroles on Myspace, Facebook and places like that, and you don't have to put up with ads. The only real challenge is figuring out what you want to say and show on your site. Have FUN! DearWebby

Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one woman's foot, the end of my tie got caught beneath her heel. Unaware of my predicament, she stood up and started toward the mirror. For a few seconds, I found myself crawling along the floor beside her, trying to get her attention. "Look, Martha," her friend said. "he wants to go home with you!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Homemade Dry Shampoo This works well for cleaning your hair when you can't get wet. Mix 1/2 cup cornmeal and 1 tablespoon salt and put it in a shaker. Sprinkle some of it onto your hair and brush it out. As you brush it, it will remove oil and dirt from your hair. Visit ThriftyFun For More Beauty Tips Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:Share & Compare Your MPG

Driving my friend Bill and his girlfriend to the airport, I passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad beauty holding a can of beer. Bill's girlfriend glanced up at it and said, "I suppose if I drank a six-pack of that brand, I'd look like her." "No," Bill corrected, "If I drank a six-pack, you'd look like her."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Cool military pictures
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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