Dear Webby: : How to make a PDF file 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  October 15, 2008

The man who insists on seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. --- Henri-Frédéric Amiel The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith
Thanks to Roland for this Classic: I needed some supplies from a Sunday school cupboard that was seldom used and was secured with a lock. I didn't know the combination, but our clergyman offered to give it a try. Father Jack placed his fingers on the lock's dial and raised his eyes heavenward for a moment. Then he confidently spun the dial and opened the lock. Seeing how impressed I was with this demonstration of faith, he smiled and confided, "The numbers are written on the ceiling."
The church was having a play, and one of the women was supposed to say, "The ass stuck his head out the window and brayed." The woman didn't want to say "ass" in church and asked if she could change the word to "donkey". The other members insisted that she call it an ass, because that's what it was called in the Bible. One person reminded her of the story about Jesus riding an ass into Jerusalem. The woman worried about her line right up until the fateful day of the pplay. When her turn came, she stood up in front of the congregation and said, "The donkey stuck his ass out the window and prayed."
Thanks to Denjan for this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to water board workers in Marino, Italy Sent in by Deeli Changed water into wine Rome, Italy - The Telegraph Sparkling chilled white wine instead of water flowed from the taps during the Marino Grape Festival and as part of the event free wine flows from the main fountain in the square too. However, due to a technical error the pipes from the local vineyard which supply the marble fountain were switched to the domestic supply feeding homes at Marino, in the famous wine-making Alban Hills, south of Rome. When mayor Adriano Palozzi, a priest and locals gathered round the fountain following a prayer of thanks to the Virgin Mary, with plastic glasses at the ready for Marino DOC they were left disappointed as instead of fresh wine, out poured the usual water. Then came the shout of "miracolo" from one house overlooking the square and a local rushed out onto her balcony to reveal that wine was flowing from her kitchen tap. One local named as Anna said, "I was in the kitchen ready to do the housework and filled up a bucket with water. "I was going to mop the floor with it but I immediately noticed a sweet smell from the tap and it was also slightly yellow - I recognized instantly it was wine. I called my neighbors and they turned on their taps and it was the same - the word quickly spread and everyone filled up bottles and plastic containers with the wine." "It all happened at the same time as Sagra dell Uva Grape Festival so everyone thought it was a miracle - I don't think that the mayor and the other officials were very happy though." Mayor Palozzi said: "It was a surprise and completely unexpected - workmen are fixing the problem which obviously came about through a technical error.
A bride called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common, almost expected, that a bride will change something on her registry at least once (dishes, color of towels, etc.). The Customer Service Representative told her that J.C. Penney would be happy to make the change. He asked if the bride wanted to change the dishes or the linens. The bride said, "No, keep all that. I just wanted to change the name of the groom."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re: PDF Dear Webby Do I understand you correctly in that we can download Open Office at your tool box site, copy our word documents over to Open Office because Open Office will convert the document to a PDF? If I'm correct so far, does that mean we can also save it as a PDF and open it as a PDF? I have copied PDF files, wanting to use them some place else and when I open the PDF file to read it I get mumbo-jumbo...all types of alphabet and numbers mixed up (like a code). This procedure (Word to PDF and save as PDF and open PDF and be able to read it) would be great and very handy for me. Thank you for your continued help. I do not miss a day of reading your Web site! Carol Dear Carol yes, Open Office will open your WORD, WordPerfect, whatever, documents and spreadsheets, and even lets you save them in those formats, not just in industry standard, platform independent Open Document spec. For example, if you have an aunt that still uses StarWriter, you can save it in that format too. If you need something in PDF format, for example a contract or form, to make sure that nobody can make changes on it, and to make sure everybody sees it in exactly the same way, no matter what kind of computer they use, or to upload it to Staples for printing thousands of copies, then you hit ALT F, D (or click on File, Export as PDF ), and it makes a PDF file. That action not destroy or change your document or it's name or format. It's just like a Print To File, or a snapshot of how it would look if printed at that moment.. PDF is a one way street. Think of it as a picture of how a print job would look like, if you printed it right now, and have that picture exported as a PDF file for printing later, when your paper order gets delivered, or when you get a moment of privacy at the big laser printer at work. If you think you might want to edit it some day, then you keep the original file, from which you exported a print job snapshot to PDF, edit that, and make a fresh export. To read PDF files you use FoxIt or Adobe Reader, or any PDF reader. They are free in my tool box at Just keep in mind that PDF files are viewable print jobs, not editable text files. You edit the document or spreadsheet, which you "printed" to PDF format, not the snapshot picture. Because it is nearly impossible to "harvest" a PDF file, when you write an eBook and print it to PDF, nobody can just edit it a bit and put their name in there as the author. The same goes for invoices, contracts, RFQ's (Request for Quotes), etc. People can't change them. Have FUN! DearWebby

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on- this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots..." Her trial is set to start early next year.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Don't Buy Items Under Stress Don't buy items when you are stressed out or anxious. Always be prepared to leave a store or a car lot if you don't feel comfortable with your purchase. If you get home and have buyer's remorse, go ahead at take the item back immediately. Any reputable store will allow you to return the item. Visit Thrifty Fun For More Consumer Advice Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall. The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that a horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?" Bohr chuckled. "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Best Crosswords
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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