Dear Webby: Lost Screen Savers 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  October 20, 2008

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. --- Bill Hoest Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. --- Doug Larson
Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's great." The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm a God." "She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?" "Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me...."
When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels. "Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do." "You're darn right it wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had... the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel when we were on our honeymoon!"
Thanks to TJ A. for this picture: Canmore, Alberta
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to town council in Hereford, England Pensioner told to stop cutting grass A pensioner has been ordered to stop mowing the grass outside his home because it makes the road look too tidy. Brian Hubbard has regularly cut the patch of grass outside his Hereford home since he moved in four years ago. He also picks up litter, rakes the leaves and cleans up council contractors' grass cuttings, reports the Daily Telegraph. But he has received a letter accusing him of "encroaching" on council land and been told that he must "return the area to its original state within 28 days" or the work would be carried out at his expense. He said: "Whoever would have thought that cultivating the grass, cutting it regularly and raking the leaves off could be described as encroachment? Do they want me to put weeds and dandelions in?" A spokesman for Herefordshire Council apologised for the tone of the letter and suggested a meeting to discuss the situation.
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: J Re: Lost screen savers Hi There Webby, Hope alls well with you & yours... I have 2 problems... Okie-Dokie, Here's first the problem... I downloaded several screen-savers and saved them in a desktop briefcase... Now when I go to the Control Panel / Display there is no tab for the screen-saver option, where I can select one ? Like I said I have several new ones in a briefcase, but what happened to the old ones with that tab to get to them? (you know the flying windows/ objects in space ect. Ect ect I'm on WindowsXP, Professional Version 2002...( I don't have the CD disk anymore so that's out as a solution) Also I use Firefox as a Browser.. I used that Crap Cleaner several times, Do you think I might have deleted them forever...I don't know what it does, I just click it and clean up whatever it does... Any help you can share with me would be greatly appreciated.. J Dear J To set up screen savers, right-click the desktop Properties, ScreenSaver. Crap Cleaner doesn't un-install programs. It just dumps the fragments of procedures, that are left behind in the memory, and similar crap. Have FUN! DearWebby

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, we better run!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 081001@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Skeleton Costume Take an old black sweat suit and paint bones on it with white paint. Use glow-in-the-dark paint and it will look extra spooky. You also can glue on white felt or a glow-in-the-dark material for the bones. Visit ThriftyFun For More Halloween Ideas http://www.thriftyfun.com/Halloween_540.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Lawyer: "Now would you please tell the Jury the truth - why did you shoot your husband with a bow and arrow?" Defendant : "I didn't want to wake up the children."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Antelope Canyon
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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