Zoom the font size for best readability! Good Morning, ! It's Thursday, November 6, 2008 Tomorrow is Friday. Time to wear something red to show your support for the troops.
Nothing you can't spell will ever work. --- Will Rogers The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum. --- Havelock Ellis
The preacher said: "There's no such thing as a perfect man. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect man, stand up." Nobody stood up. "Those who have ever known a perfect woman, stand up." One demure little woman stood up. "Did you ever know an absolutely perfect woman?" he asked, somewhat amazed. "I didn't know her personally," replied the little old woman, "but I have heard a great deal about her. She was my husband's first wife."
Thanks to Vicky for this story: A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely lady. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the fridge. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because the neighbor has a pair like that. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater that you never wore even once, because the color reminded you of somebody in highschool. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore. Then, as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' "And so, here we are!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to police in Boulder, Colorado Sniveling Ninnies Streakers cited in 'Naked Pumpkin Run' BOULDER, Colo. (UPI) -- Police say the ticket tally from this year's "Naked Pumpkin Run" through Boulder, Colo., reached an even dozen. The (Boulder) Daily Camera said police turned up the pressure on the annual Halloween event in which streakers sprint down Pearl Street wearing nothing but Jack-o-Lanterns on their heads. The newspaper said participants have rarely been cited in the event's 10-year history, but Police Chief Mark Beckner said its growing popularity was raising concerns. "We wanted to do something before (the event) got out of hand," he said. "This was a good opportunity to enforce the law." The chief told KMGH-TV in Denver the fact that Halloween fell on a Friday this year was cause for concern. Residents told the Daily Camera they felt police resources would have been better spent on real criminal activity. --------------- It won't become a tourist attraction unless there are at least 100 Pumpkin runners.
Thanks to Ella for this story: While picking up a prescription, I noticed that the woman who gave me my medication was wearing a beautiful mother's ring. "I love your ring," I said. "It's very similar to mine." And I held out my hand to show her. Each ring had three birthstones. "You have three children too?" I asked. "Well, no," the woman replied. "When my daughter picked this out for me, she liked the rings with three settings the best. So I have a birthstone for two daughters, and this one," she said while pointing to the center gem, "is for the dog!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jan Re: Internal Server Error Dear Webby: I really enjoy your site.It is the first one I open every day. I have a question I hope you can answer for me.I am not very good at solving computer problems or if I am the cause of them in the first place.Lately my computer says I have a internal error. Sites file is missing or corrupted.To correct this error import a new site file.I have no clue as how to do this.Can you help me out. Thanks Jan Dear Jan "Internal Server Error" is a problem on the site you are visiting. For example, if you are sending a postcard, and you copy the recipient's address from an email, but accidentally also copy a blank space before or after it, you will get an Internal Server Error, because the postcard site can't deal with a wonky address. "Sites file is missing or corrupted" is a typical error message from Lavasoft's AdAware program, after it had gotten damaged by a virus, trojan or spyware. Other programs might possibly use the same error message, but AdAware is the most typical. If you have that program, contact their support for a new sites file. Have FUN! DearWebby
Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at email@example.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Ice Off Your Windshield Use an old set of car floor mats to cover your car's windshield in the evening and you won't have any ice to scrape in the morning. Carpet remnants also work. Visit ThriftyFun For More Winter Driving Tips http://www.thriftyfun.com/Cars_Winter%2 ... 6_157.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The other day I saw this story about chickens in a magazine. Did you know they have yellow eyes? True. And now some clever person has come up with an idea to fit the chickens with red contact lenses. I know, I know, it sounds weird, but the guy who came up with the idea said it makes them eat less, lay more, and stop hen pecking so much. Of course, once word of this gets around, rose colored glasses are going to be the hottest Christmas gift from husbands to wives.Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Idle Fingers TimeARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blogIf you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!Webby.com
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