Zoom the font size for best readability! Good Morning, ! It's Wednesday, November 19, 2008
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. --- Vince Lombardi So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause. --- George Lucas
Thanks to Dianne for this story: Fred was well known for his cheapness and his "eye for a bargain." One day he was looking for a cheap wedding present for his niece, so he went into a thrift shop. As he was walking around, he noticed what was previously an expensive glass crystal vase lying in the corner. It was in three pieces. After some haggling with the owner, Fred bought the broken vase for $5. He then filled in the congratulations card, wrote out his niece's name and address and gave the owner another $5 so that the broken vase could be gift wrapped and mailed. Fred then left the shop feeling quite pleased with himself. He expected his niece to think the vase had been broken in the mail. A few days later, he called his niece to see if the present had arrived. "Yes, Uncle Fred, but unfortunately it was in 3 pieces when it was delivered." "What terrible luck!" said Fred. "The Post Office is getting worse all the time!" "It is a shame," she replied, "and it was so beautifully wrapped too...each piece separately."
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request. If you don't get it, you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked.
From Jersey Devil: ------------------------- HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY Please pass this on this holiday season. When mailing your Christmas cards this year, take one card and send it to this address. If we pass this on and everyone sends one card, think of how many cards these wonderful special people who have sacrificed so much would get. When you are making out your Christmas card list this year, please include the following: A Recovering American Soldier c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center 6900 Georgia Avenue,NW Washington,D.C. 20307-5001 ------------------------- Jersey Devil Please keep in mind that these recovering wounded soldiers are not politicians promising the impossible to con you into voting for them. These people have risked their lives on your behalf, and are suffering the cost of doing that. If you have more cards, than people who deserve them, send them to the soldiers! The do deserve them! DearWebby
Thanks to Joan for this picture:If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Justin Luecke, 28, in Sheboygan, Wis Too dopey to call police Man reports burglary, busted for drugs SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (UPI) -- Police in Sheboygan, Wis., say a man reported a burglary only to be arrested when officers found drugs and paraphernalia at his home. Investigators said officers responding to a burglary report filed by Justin Luecke, 28, spotted a marijuana pipe in Luecke's bedroom and marijuana stems and seeds in his living room, the Sheboygan Press reported Wednesday. Officers returned to Luecke's home later in the day with a search warrant and found marijuana, marijuana packaging, a scale and two varieties of unauthorized prescription pills, the arrest report said. Luecke, who told police the pipe belonged to a friend and denied any knowledge of the stems and seeds, was charged with felony marijuana possession and misdemeanor counts alleging possession of a controlled substance, an illegally obtained prescription and drug paraphernalia. He could face a maximum 26 months imprisonment if convicted on all charges.
Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter.” She said to him, “I think about it many times a day.” “Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise.” “It’s not a matter of wisdom,” she replied. “It’s when I open a drawer or a closet, I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?’”
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank Re: Wireless Mouse Dear Webby, I've been using a wireless mouse for a few years and love it. However, in the past few days the mouse has a mind of its own. It stalls mid page, is erratic and sometimes unresponsive. Of course I've replaced the batteries with more than one set (2AA) and I've reset the receiver / mouse a few times. Does the mouse die a natural death after a period of time? Is something else happening? If I have to get a new one please provide recommendation regarding new wireless mouse. Thanks Frank Der Frank If the mouse buttons are OK, then the wireless part is OK. Check the glider feet of the mouse. Chances are that they have accumulated some dirt. You can usually scrape the worst of it off, and then polish them by running the mouse roughly over some scrap paper. Have FUN! DearWebby
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. Little Jimmy interrupted. "My mommy looked back once while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at firstname.lastname@example.org, and she will post it into the blog for you.Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Whipping Cream You can whip cream faster by chilling the bowl and beaters in the fridge before whipping. A few drops of lemon juice will help the cream stiffen. Visit ThriftyFun for more Cooking Tips by clicking here http://www.thriftyfun.com/Food%20Tips%2 ... 6_930.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Sandie for this one: I was shopping for art supplies at my friend's craft store. As she was checking me out, my friend asked, "Have you gotten thinner?" Flattered, I replied, "Why, yes. I've been on this diet for a couple of weeks now and I've lost a few pounds." My friend rolled her eyes and said, "I meant paint thinner."Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: GreenlandARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blogIf you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!Webby.com
[ view entry ] ( 229 views ) | permalink | print article | ( 3 / 779 )