Dear Webby: From Outlook to Open Source to Envelopes 

   Zoom the font size for best readability!
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  November 22, 2008

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. --- Robert Benchley The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question. --- Stephen Jay Gould
Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, recently accused George, a local man, of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar. George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.
Subscribe to Ophelia Dingbatter's News Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request. If you don't get it, you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked.
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.
Thanks to Sue for this picture: On the road again
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rico Todriquez Wright, 25 of Dublin, GA Rapper gets 20 years after writing shooting song DUBLIN, Ga. He shot a man twice and felt so good about it, police said, a rapper wrote a song describing the shooting and calling out the victim by name. A judge sentenced 25-year-old Rico Todriquez Wright Monday to spend the next 20 years in prison after his victim mentioned the hip hop confession to police. Chad Blue, 28, told police he had known Wright before the September 2006 shooting, but that the men weren't friendly. He testified companions egged Wright on as he chased and shot his victim in the thigh and groin. Later, Blue told police he recognized Wright's voice on a CD, rapping "Chad Blue knows how I shoot." Wright was sentenced to 20 years for two counts of aggravated assault. He will spend another 20 years on probation. Information from: The Courier Herald,
"Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked. It was a moment for which her parents had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly. "Does that answer your question?' her father asked. "Not really," the little girl said. "Judy said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jan Re: Printng Envelopes Dear Webby, My address book is on Outlook (I know, but I started the book in the early 1990's and have a lot of data input time invested) and I have moved it to my new computer running Vista (I know bad twice) and now MS Word freezes up when I try to address an envelope using the address book. It was problematic on my old XP machine and crashed word regularly if I updated or added to the address book, but it's useless now. I publish the monthly newsletter for our Non-Profit organization and address about 170 envelopes a month for the mailing. I just finished addressing them, so I have a 30-day break before the next mailing. It's cheaper for the organization if I address the envelopes rather than use labels since my time is donated. Can you recommend software that will run on Vista and can just pull an address from its data base and print a freaking address on an envelope? 'Cause my $300 Vista operating system and $300 MS Office 2007 "Professional" can't seem to get the job done. It would be good if the software can import the Outlook .wab file, but I also have the mailing list in a MS Word document, and at this point would even be willing to type each address by hand into the database if I only had to do it once. Thank you Webby, Paul Dear Paul Industry and commerce nowadays use Open Office. You can get it free from my toolbox at Open Office is platform independent, and doesn't care whether you handicap yourself with Vista or not. Here is a tutorial for exporting Outlook addresses into the Open Office database Here is one about Printing Envelopes in Open Office Once you have the addresses in your database, you can use them in any Open Office program, not just in WRITE, but even in the spreadsheet for making fancy executive style graphs. Regarding labels versus envelopes: I found that envelopes age a printer a lot faster than labels do, and in the long run, labels are cheaper for me than printers. Have FUN! DearWebby

A missionary visited a small village in a remote jungle and began preaching the gospel. "Jesus saves!" exclaimed the missionalry. "Bawana!" shouted the natives. "Ye must be baptized!" exclaimed the missionary. "Bawana!" shouted the natives "Donate tithes and offerings!" exclaimed the missionary. "Bawana!" shouted the natives. Having had such a successful time, the missionary inquired of the chief as to how he could go to the next village, to share the gospel with them too. The chief replied, "You go down road one thousand paces, you turn right, climb over wall made of rocks, run across field. Many bulls in field, you run fast, but be careful not step in bawana."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Save Money With LED Christmas Lights They aren't quite as bright as other lights, but LED Christmas lights will save you a bundle on your energy bill. They cost as much as 90% less to operate. LED lights also produce almost no heat, which reduces the risk of fire. Visit ThriftyFun For More Christmas Decorating Tips ... 6_255.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The impish girl turned on the tractor and pushed the outhouse into the creek. Later, her father told her the story of George Washington chopping down his father's cherry tree but wasn't spanked because he had told the truth. The girl proudly announced, "I cannot tell a lie. I pushed the outhouse into the creek." He told her to bend over and the shocked child protested that George Washington had not been punished. The father replied, "Well, George's father wasn't IN the cherry tree when it got chopped down!"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Celebrity Houses
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

[ view entry ] ( 123 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 658 )

<<First <Back | 125 | 126 | 127 | 128 | 129 | 130 | 131 | 132 | 133 | 134 | Next> Last>>