Dear Webby: Defrag with computer off? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  November 29, 2008

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. --- Saki Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards. --- Fred Hoyle
Thanks to irene for this story: I deliver pizza to help cover my college tuition. Once I called on customers who sent their seven-year-old son to pay me. As he approached the screen door, I noticed he was carrying a check in one hand and two dollars in the other, which I assumed was my tip. To my dismay, he pocketed the bills before handing me the check, which was for the exact cost of the pizza. "Could that have been a tip?" I asked, trying not to sound accusatory. "Yep," he replied proudly. "Not bad for just a walk from the living room and back!" It's too ad he didn't know about how those boxes loose all rigidity when I open the tab with my fingernail. The klutzy kid made a heck of a mess on the hallway carpet.
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The Thanksgiving party had turned into a marathon with numerous guests coming and going. At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily though no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement. He sat there happily for about an hour before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host, "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway. My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved."
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Thanks to Martin for sending this picture taken by his son: Horned toad/ horned lizard (genus Phrynosoma), Gila Wilderness, New Mexico
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to police in Little Maplestead, Essex, England 'Gentleman Robber'' suspect arrested A flooring boss who marched an employee to a police station with tied hands and a “thief” sign around his neck has been charged over the stunt. In House Flooring chief Simon Cremer, 41, tied Mark Gilbert’s hands, hung a sign around his neck and walked him through town after he found Gilbert had tried to steal £845 from the firm. Gilbert was arrested for theft, admitted the crime and was cautioned. But Cremer and three employees have all been charged with false imprisonment over the incident. They will all appear before Chelmsford Magistrate’s Court next month. Even Gilbert has expressed surprise that the men had been arrested, admitting: ‘I’m the criminal here.’ The charges came on the day Whitehall statistics showed tens of thousands of serious criminals are receiving only a caution – including rapists and child molesters. Because there is no jail space left, the number of criminals being sent to jail is at its lowest level for a decade. ... harge.html ... loyee.html It seems the British gene pool needs more chlorine!
Thanks to fran for this one: Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I washed my hair several times. That night when I went to bed, I leaned over to my husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive oil?" "No," he said, sniffing me. "Do I smell like Popeye?"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tam Re: Does scheduled defrag run when the computer is off? Dear Webby, Hello .. as always thanks for the great humor. I have a question and love your advice. When the computer is shut down, does the defragment and other things i have scheduled run? thanks and have a good day. Tam Dear Tam when the computer is shut down, nothing runs. Even when you got it set to sleep, hibernate or stand by, nothing runs, except for a little watchdog, that is waiting for some mouse or keyboard action. Have FUN! DearWebby

One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6:00, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call." Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6:00 AM!" I complained. "What if I had a million-dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?" "Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a million-dollar deal to close, you probably wouldn't be staying in this motel!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Leftover Cereal for Casseroles Use leftover or stale cereal as a casserole topper. Just crumble it up and use in place of or in addition to crackers. Fruit Loops (or other sweetened cereal) probably wouldn't work well as a casserole topper, but cheerios and corn flakes can taste fantastic. Visit ThriftyFun For More Leftover Food Tips ... 6_951.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

How do you tell the difference between the psychologists and the patients in a psychiatric hospital? The patients are curable, get better and leave.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Links: Great Military Photos More Great Military Photos More Great Military Photos hmmm, wonder why the Taliban are not impressed and scared?
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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