Dear Webby: Video card for wide monitor 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  December 6, 2008

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. --- Doug Larson If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. --- Dean Martin
A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another. "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. "My blood pressure pills make me dizzy," another went on. "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he shook his head. Then there was a short moment of silence... "Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank goodness we can still drive!"
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While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs. "I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit per- fectly around his neck."
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Dear Webby, I thought you might want to use this for your humor addition. We were in Panama City Beach this week and during the picture taking frenzy I didn't see the sign behind the Pelican until I downloaded it to my computer. Feel free to use the picture, if it suits your fancy. Sharon
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joshua James Fagan, 27, Cape Coral, Florida Sent in by Sandie Fla. man accused of making boy drive on beer run CAPE CORAL, Fla. — Authorities in southwest Florida say an intoxicated man had his 9-year-old son take him on a beer run. Cape Coral police arrested the 27-year-old man last week, after seeing a pickup truck drive onto a median. When officers stopped the truck, the man told them he was teaching his son to drive. Officers say the father's speech was slurred, his breath smelled of alcohol and he was unable to stand without swaying. Police said an open case of Budweiser beer was in the backseat. The man was charged with cruelty toward a child and allowing an unlicensed minor to drive. He was released from jail on $2,000 bond.
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked. He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Nigle Re: Video card for wide monitor Hello Dear Webby: I need your help once again. I purchased a wide screen monitor and now find my video doesn’t support it. It is a 19.5”. How can I tell what type video card to get? Thanks for all the good work, Nigle Dear Nigle Since it is not standard, that would depend entirely on the brand and model of the monitor. Check the manufacturer's web site. Personally, I would return that monitor. You are NOT going to be happy with that monitor. To get the Wide screen experience, duck tape the bottom third of your monitor for a day. Unless you really like that, stay away from wide screen monitors. A standard aspect ratio monitor may be a bit harder to find than the yuppie monitors, which are more profitable for the merchants, but they are still available. With Dell and other suppliers, just go into Business class instead of Home user. They know business people are a lot less gullible, and often buy hundreds of items at a time. Have FUN! DearWebby

An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. "Am I glad to see you," he said, "I've been lost for three days." "Don't get too excited, friend," the other hunter replied. "I've been lost for three weeks."

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Judi strolled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said coyly, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Judi, "I have been having a funny pain right here above the heart . . ." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Judi, but I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oooh," said Judi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is 'philosophy'?"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Mosaic Mural Museum
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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